tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80957405611049198892024-03-14T03:01:48.877-07:00 Hustle Diva ... Speaks!Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.comBlogger226125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-38642345544881924242024-03-12T11:41:00.000-07:002024-03-12T23:26:25.374-07:00ARSON<p>Your breath smells like</p><p>unresolved generational trauma</p><p>a putrid fusion</p><p>of blame, excuses</p><p>and all the smoke</p><p>you stay ready </p><p>to serve the world.</p><p><br /></p><p>Your temper </p><p>blow-torch Fahrenheit </p><p>smoldering among your cells</p><p>dissentigrating your lungs</p><p>each exhale carcinogenic</p><p>no one is safe </p><p>including you.</p><p> </p><p>One day </p><p>the internal holocaust </p><p>charring your core </p><p>roasting your bodily fluids</p><p>and blackening your heart </p><p>will be too rebellious</p><p>for you to survive.</p><p> </p><p>Swear I keep smellin' fire </p><p>and sure enough</p><p>every time I look around </p><p>it's you</p><p>lit</p><p>cracklin' and poppin', </p><p>Fourth of July </p><p>sparking from your tongue</p><p>a run-for-cover spectacle</p><p>short-circuiting people's tolerance </p><p>incinerating vital bonds</p><p>from your support system </p><p>snuffing out your prosperity.</p><p><br /></p><p>Hell hath no fury </p><p>like you</p><p>scorned.</p><p><br /></p><p>You're not the warm refuge folks seek</p><p>to escape life's blistering chill</p><p>you're the reason the block is hot</p><p>carbon-monoxide mobile</p><p>mortal spirit</p><p>clearing the path</p><p>with one searing gaze</p><p>no need to speak</p><p>we all know</p><p>you don't require words</p><p>to kill the peace.</p><p><br /></p><p>And I would call the fire department</p><p>but judging by </p><p>the grandeur of your rage</p><p>your flame is too trick candle</p><p>for their hoses</p><p>you're not thirsty for healing</p><p>you <i>wanna</i> burn bridges</p><p>every day you add more tinder</p><p>to the widespread toxins </p><p>engulfing humanity.</p><p><br /></p><p>It's clear that your violent flare </p><p>is premeditated</p><p>which means</p><p>this </p><p>is an inferno </p><p>that can only be extinguished</p><p>by you. </p><p><br /></p><p>Listen to the audio:</p><p><a href="https://www.reverbnation.com/hustlediva/song/34395557-arson">https://www.reverbnation.com/hustlediva/song/34395557-arson</a></p><p><br /></p><p>©2024 Charlene E. Green</p><p><br /></p><p> </p>Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-69466624934455524692023-09-12T10:00:00.004-07:002023-09-13T09:48:15.728-07:00APOSTROPHE<p>I am not a shortcut.</p><p>I am a whole word.</p><p> </p><p>To experience me fully </p><p>you need to sound me out </p><p>every letter </p><p>taste each syllable </p><p>that composes </p><p>the intricacies</p><p>of my story.</p><p><br /></p><p>Chew slowly on </p><p>the knowledge you receive </p><p>remember it</p><p>savor it</p><p>the bitter and the sweet</p><p>balance them evenly </p><p>amid your palate</p><p>too much of one or the other </p><p>might leave a strange taste </p><p>in your mouth.</p><p><br /></p><p>If I tell you my secrets </p><p>treat them like the personal shame</p><p>you intend to take to your grave</p><p>—guard them with your life—</p><p>do not let </p><p>your mouth get wayward</p><p>my privileged info plunging </p><p>from your irresponsible tongue.</p><p><br /></p><p>Be extra careful with the skeletons.</p><p><br /></p><p>If I trust you enough</p><p>to exhume them</p><p>from the closets </p><p>I have buried them in</p><p>do not let the tiny bones</p><p>get lodged between your teeth</p><p>the sizeable ones</p><p>caught in your throat</p><p>I know my objectionable facts </p><p>can be tough to swallow</p><p>hard to digest</p><p>try not to choke on your shock</p><p>do not be fooled </p><p>by this good-girl smile</p><p>I have not been the saint </p><p>these poems may </p><p>have you to believe.</p><p><br /></p><p>I can be a hurriquake</p><p>first <i>and</i> last name </p><p>they frantically announce </p><p>when cautioning the world </p><p>of my impending doom.</p><p><br /></p><p>If my mother were still here</p><p>she could tell you about </p><p>the day she watched me</p><p>barbarically shudder her house</p><p>gut an emotional intruder </p><p>on the phone</p><p>her eyes swamped with terror.</p><p><br /></p><p>I wrote about it in detail</p><p>check my documents</p><p>I am just letting you know </p><p>what to expect </p><p>and simultaneously </p><p>you never know </p><p>what to expect </p><p>from my verbiage vault.</p><p><br /></p><p>When I said I was a whole word </p><p>I also meant the truth.</p><p><br /></p><p>See that?</p><p> </p><p>Like a thesaurus </p><p>if you search me</p><p>you will find infinite ways </p><p>to define my complexities.</p><p> </p><p>There are no contractions here.</p><p><br /></p><p>You may not abbreviate </p><p>the parts of me </p><p>you find inconvenient.</p><p><br /></p><p>You do not have permission </p><p>to eliminate pieces </p><p>of my original format.</p><p><br /></p><p>Arrive prepared </p><p>to consume me in my entirety.</p><p> </p><p>I hope I have made myself clear.</p><p> </p><p>Do not </p><p>make me have to </p><p>spell it out for you.</p><p><br /></p><p>©2023 Charlene E. Green</p><p><b>Listen to the audio <a href="https://www.reverbnation.com/hustlediva/song/34149237-apostrophe" target="_blank">HERE</a></b></p>Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-83475060832393324822023-05-24T22:37:00.008-07:002023-05-28T01:42:22.293-07:00REVIEW OF LANELL GRANT'S SOLO ALBUM, I AIN'T GONE HOLD YOU<p>LaNell Grant asked for "dissertations" after we listened to her album. She didn't know I'm a master at those. See what I did there?</p><p>First, a little backstory:</p><p>I've been following Texas native producer and lyricist LaNell "Nell" Grant for about two years, though if you were to ask her, she might say I'm new to her world, because I just recently began interacting on her IG posts. But I was there way before that. When I first heard her rap, I was instantly drawn to her aura and flow. Something about the way she spun her words told me she was ahead of her time and that I should continue to pay attention to her artistry.</p><p>As a 53-year-old who was on the scene when hip hop started, I'll be honest and say that these days I don't really fool with what's out. Much of the greatness of the art form has been lost--dare I say trampled on--and I feel like I've been waiting for history to repeat itself for an eternity. There are only a couple of rappers who have my attention, for very specific reasons. Aside from them, no one has had my full attention this way in many years. To be clear, for an artist to have my full attention means I not only enjoy their content but also their whole vibe. I'm attracted to a certain energy, and although I may like some artists' songs, I may not care for them as people, based on the way I see them carry themselves in the media. My interest in an artist is built by way of a sort of study of them and their work. Because my life's work is words and stories, I take the art of wordplay very seriously. </p><p>In addition to posting entertaining reels and clips of her family, several months ago Nell, who used to be an English teacher, began doing something called Nell Word of the Day, where she would take a lesser-used word from the Dictionary or Thesaurus, give us the meaning and part of speech, and then spit a short, powerful, educational, witty verse using the word, accompanied by music she produced. Not many people know this, but the Thesaurus is my favorite book. It's the best writing tool ever. I use it for all my work; it'll likely get used during this review. There are times when I want an alternate word for the most common of them, and I can't think of all of them fast enough. The Thesaurus saves me every time. That said, when Nell began this fun journey, it excited me. I was tuned in frequently before, but once this was on deck, I was locked in daily. I had never seen any other rapper or producer do anything like it. Her passion for words and their usage gave me hope for the future of hip hop. This is when I started commenting on posts. I had studied her enough. She was the real deal. Everyone <i>loved</i> what she was doing and the positive impact she was having on them, including me, and I let it be known in the comments how refreshing it was. </p><p>Soon, Nell began talking about doing her first solo album, and my ears and eyes instantly perked up even more. Again, I've been watching her from the corner, so to speak, so I've heard her other singles, "Reflection" and "Call on Me," which were released last year, as well as watched her Women Produce video series and other shorts on YouTube. If she was serious about doing an album, then I knew I'd be serious about supporting it. She was and she did.</p><p>Fast forward to today, May 24, the official release date of <i>I Ain't Gone Hold You</i>, Nell's first solo album, which she wrote and produced. If you know anything about firsts in the artistry world, then you understand how important they are. To make a lasting impression that leaves people singing your praises, you can't just throw it together and hope for the best. You need a certain amount of confidence in your abilities and the quality of the work you intend to deliver. It's not that it's not scary or that you don't worry about how well it will be received, but you know you're <i>ready</i> to be received, come what may. LaNell Grant was definitely ready for this venture.</p><p><i>I Ain't Gone Hold You</i> is first-rate, forward-thinking, captivating, and educational. It's also faith based, so it's clean and family friendly, not a curse word to be found. Even if you have a potty mouth and are accustomed to, enjoy, or prefer rap songs filled with obscenities and X-rated content, this album is superbly lyrically distracting, so you won't miss any of it. Nell is committed to her faith in God, and her life and verses showcase the beauty and depth of that vow. Her musical prowess, storytelling, flow, and use of language are superior. This woman is smart, intentional with her messages, and dedicated to making sure she gives the people what they need and want. And there's not a track on it that I feel compelled to skip. </p><p>This isn't just a hip-hop album, which is why it took me four full listens to the album to figure out how to describe it. To me, it's an ode to faith, inner growth, and love. Nell does more than rap; she serves up a beautiful balance of what I call "street and sweet." The first half of the album is where she takes it to the street, unleashing crafty, flawlessly articulated and enunciated bars that prove why she belongs on the mic and has the right to call herself a rapper, all while slangin' arresting, layered beats in your ears that sound like she's been producing for decades, when in reality it's been less than 10 years. It's clear from the first track that she didn't come to play, even though she was obviously having the time of her life in the studio. Countless metaphors that stop you in your tracks and make you shake your head at how smoothly she dropped them and ran to the next one, while you're still marveling at what she just left you with. Subject matter that makes you think about whether you're living your best life (right up my alley!). Scenarios that make you reassess your faith, no matter what philosophy you subscribe to. </p><p>Then, unexpectedly but definitely not regretfully, she swings way over to the other side of the pendulum and lays the sweet side of herself on you, revealing another surprise: she can sing! No, not like Mariah or Whitney, but she can do <i>more</i> than just hold a note. She has a pretty voice, and to go with it a heart bursting with love for her life, her kids, and her husband, which she spends part of the next half of the album celebrating. I heard Nell say in a live video some months back, regarding her love for her husband Cory, "I've always been ooey-gooey." This album reveals exactly what she meant by that. Her husband and kids all have cameos, and what I love about her "ooey-gooey" side is that even as she gets vulnerable about what and how much they mean to her, she still throws flaming bars. She may have switched gears emotionally, but she continues going full throttle energetically and skill wise.</p><p>I wish I could tell you what my favorite track is, but right now I can't. They're all too strong. I will say that the ones I find myself quoting the most are "God's Timing," "Second Wind," and "Everything." As I continue to digest each song, one will likely be the chosen fave. Some of my favorite lines from each track are as follows:</p><p>"Everything": <b>1.</b> I could never count a manmade dollar as my Powerball. <b>2.</b> If we delay our indulgence/then we can bake this in the oven/slow and steady, that's the pace/perfect the texture, that's the base/crust them edges, that's for taste/and save that juice, cuz it's our gravy.</p><p>"Answer by Fire": <b>1.</b> Facts/it be in the acts/acts be in the actions/proof is in the pudding/trees bear they fruit then. <b>2.</b> We was dancin' wit' the enemy/didn't understand his vice grip is a Tango/wit' a grip like Thanos/wit' a chip like Pringles/on our shoulders.</p><p>"Unequivocal": I pray compassion don't miss me and catch me wrong on a Tweet/I pray I handle my come-up with enough humility/I pray my flesh don't get stirred up and walk me to guillotines. </p><p>"Second Wind": <b>1.</b> Cuz it's a set-up/And I upset like a underdog wit' a bite that won't let up. <b>2.</b> Whatchu rely on?/Whatchu cling to?/Whatchu trust in?/Whatchu lust in?/Tell me yo' type of glutton/Mine was myself. <b>3.</b> Objects in the mirror are more sinister than they appear.</p><p>"God's Timing": <b>1.</b> But that mind of poverty/it be a sham/it'll have you goin' hard for the clams/in the wrong direction/away from yo' fam. <b>2.</b> Just know that everything's shiny/just know the beats still gon' be grimy/just know the heat crack like a lightnin'/only difference is I'm right in alignment with all of my assignments. <b>3.</b> I'm a piece'uh art and a piece'uh work/you can buy the album when you buy the merch/straight from ya girl/you can skip the clerks.</p><p>"Don't Let'em Swamp Ya": <b>1.</b> Pray you don't play cat and mouse with a fox/Don't let no lame tell you whatchu not/they sound like trickery dickery dock. <b>2.</b> Any lil boy can make 'em/but not every grown man can stand up and raise 'em/you want a real one/one like yo' daddy/one like yo' pappy/when you nine months he'll still think you a baddy. </p><p>"Collect Call": <b>1.</b> I hit my knees/I had to weep/I had to groan/now I'm grown. <b>2.</b> Nelly is regular-degular/I be in sweats without sweatin'/I only address it cuz I know some girl somewhere in depression/who she is on the inside is what's special/but she can't see past the pressure/of what she measure/in her bra line/in her thigh gap/how her teeth look/if her waist snatched/wit' that make-up/she git big claps.</p><p>"I Hope You Know": 1. You done cleansed yo' bride/boy you deserve a thesis/a dissertation/standin' ovation/worker's compensation/hundred mo' vacations/condos on the water/five-star reservations/anything with you cuz the time is never wasted.</p><p>"Don't Forget (feat. Tim Woods)": Dang these thoughts/man they be creepin'/and I be peepin' all these demons/yeah I see 'em/My God I repent/Lord please forgive me/they in the mirror/not over yonder but right up under/where I breathe/between my gums/on my tongue/Jesus Christ man/I can see/that it's me/I ain't gone lie/dang it's me.</p><p>"Reflection": <b>1.</b> Performing/dangerous drug/performing a.k.a. I want love/and I wish I had that truth when I needed it/I wish I knew my worth and then exceeded it. <b>2.</b> Hope I got more God than I show y'all up in my stories.</p><p>"I Ain't Gone Hold You": <b>1.</b> Had beats on my hard drive/thought that I had made 'em wrong/turns out they was for me/I was takin' long/turns out I'm Chef Bar-O-G/put my apron on/tried to leave the kitchen prematurely but my cake was on. <b>2.</b> If you needed a wake-up call/hope I was Folgers.</p><p>Whether you're a hip-hop aficionado, only partake sometimes, or not at all, I strongly advise you to support this project so you can hear what true hip hop sounds like in 2023, especially coming from a woman who also creates the beats. You can go ahead and speak LaNell Grant's name in the same sentences with MC Lyte, Queen Latifah, and Missy Elliot. Yeah. Gone ahead and do that. </p><p><i>I Ain't Gone Hold You</i> is available on Even.biz, where you can purchase and listen but not download. To sign up, all you need is an email address. It will hit all digital streaming platforms soon. Here's the link: <a href="https://www.even.biz/releases/i-aint-gone-hold-you">https://www.even.biz/releases/i-aint-gone-hold-you</a></p><p>Grab it, enjoy it, learn from it. Happy listening!</p><p>Charlene E. Green</p><p>Author, Publishing Coach, Empowerment Poet, Life Coach</p><p>Hustle Diva Speaks Enterprises LLC</p><p><a href="http://lnk.bio/hustlediva24">lnk.bio/hustlediva24</a></p>Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-68897900418531141622022-12-15T15:19:00.000-08:002022-12-15T15:19:14.627-08:00INQUIRING MIND<p>*For Twitch and all the others.*</p><p><br /></p><p>So you thought you could dance</p><p>Your way out of despair</p><p>Dj</p><p>Enough music</p><p>Into your ears</p><p>To drown out your heart's</p><p>Hard-core wailing</p><p>Pretty-smile enough sparkle</p><p>Into your eyes</p><p>So when we looked into them </p><p>We wouldn't see</p><p>That the lights were out</p><p>In your soul?</p><p><br /></p><p>I wanna know </p><p>Who dropped the ball first</p><p>How many dropped it after</p><p>Left you feeling like</p><p>This game of life</p><p>Was too difficult to play</p><p>That your access pass</p><p>To happiness was defective</p><p>And you weren't worthy</p><p>Of one that worked</p><p><br /></p><p>How many were dropped</p><p>To the point that by the time</p><p>Somebody picked one up</p><p>And came to support you</p><p>In winning the game</p><p>It no longer mattered</p><p>Because you felt like</p><p>You were too many points </p><p>Behind to succeed?</p><p><br /></p><p>How many I love yous</p><p>And I'm here for yous</p><p>Sounded good but</p><p>Weren't strong enough</p><p>To overpower the game-over buzzer</p><p>Blaring in your head</p><p>Telling you you'd lost</p><p>No overtime on deck</p><p>Time to get off the court</p><p>Outta the game</p><p>Outta people's way</p><p>Outta existence?</p><p><br /></p><p>DID</p><p>Anyone actually drop the ball?</p><p>Was there really not enough</p><p>Love</p><p>Cheering</p><p>Checking-on</p><p>And tips offered</p><p>On how you could be a victor?</p><p><br /></p><p>Or</p><p><br /></p><p>Did you have the ball</p><p>The whole time but </p><p>Didn't think there would ever </p><p>Be enough air in it</p><p>To keep you bouncing back </p><p>So you tossed it?</p><p><br /></p><p>Did you block</p><p>And foul folks</p><p>Who tried to help</p><p>Because deep down</p><p>You didn't think you were</p><p>Destined for greatness</p><p>Didn't think your life</p><p>Was important enough </p><p>To save?</p><p><br /></p><p>I'm just asking because</p><p>When it was me long ago </p><p>When I thought I</p><p>Wanted to die</p><p>More than once</p><p>I realized</p><p>I didn't</p><p><br /></p><p>What I really wanted</p><p>Was to have a purpose</p><p>Big enough to live for</p><p>A thing that made me</p><p>Feel like I was needed here</p><p>A way to leave the world better</p><p>A thing no one could</p><p>Take from me</p><p>That gave me joy</p><p>A thing that belonged</p><p>Only to me</p><p><br /></p><p>Because why be here</p><p>If I can't have</p><p>Impenetrable fulfillment</p><p>On some level</p><p>Solid ground to stand on</p><p>When everything</p><p>And everyone around me</p><p>Is falling away</p><p>Or apart?</p><p><br /></p><p>And when I found it</p><p>I never again</p><p>Thought I wanted to die</p><p><br /></p><p>In fact</p><p>It became the thing</p><p>I fought hardest</p><p>To live for</p><p><br /></p><p>So I'm just wondering</p><p>What would've made you stay</p><p>What was the puzzle piece</p><p>Missing from your soul</p><p>What was the thing</p><p>That would've kept you</p><p>In the game</p><p>Given you</p><p>Impenetrable fulfillment </p><p>Made you plant your feet</p><p>Firmly in this life</p><p>Given you the courage</p><p>The audacity</p><p>To battle all the</p><p>Evils and strife in this world</p><p>The thing that would've</p><p>Let you live in peace</p><p>Carry out a purpose</p><p>That made you dance</p><p>Dj</p><p>And eye-sparkle pretty-smile</p><p>Till the game-over buzzer</p><p>Blared</p><p>And you were good</p><p>Because your happiness points</p><p>Were in excess</p><p>And you knew</p><p>You had won? </p><p><br /></p><p>©2022 Charlene E. Green</p>Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-9026591845736719032022-07-17T14:37:00.005-07:002022-07-17T21:56:17.138-07:00SUPPORT SYSTEM<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>I don't drink coffee<p></p><p>but I've been using your favorite mug lately</p><p>the one you used for your morning coffee</p><p>then several more servings throughout the day</p><p><br /></p><p>I know it was your favorite</p><p>not just because I saw you using it</p><p>all the time</p><p>but because</p><p>I can see the permanent coffee-stain ring</p><p>just above the cup's halfway point--</p><p>you never filled it all the way</p><p>as if maybe you felt like you didn't deserve</p><p>a full one</p><p>like how you often felt about your life</p><p>the way you struggled to feel worthy</p><p>of the kind that would</p><p>leave you so satiated that there'd be</p><p>no room left in that cup</p><p>because the contents of your joy </p><p>would aggressively bubble over</p><p>splashing on everything</p><p>and everyone in your midst</p><p>and you would never apologize</p><p>because you'd understand that</p><p>happiness is to be shared</p><p>it's supposed to flood</p><p>touch people</p><p>leave them inquiring about </p><p>whatever it is you have</p><p>that makes your cup</p><p>runneth over like that</p><p> </p><p>At the bottom</p><p>on the inside</p><p>I can see the mass of scrape marks</p><p>from where you clanked and stirred your spoon</p><p>and I question how much deep contemplation</p><p>and persistent worry</p><p>were driving each rotation of your wrist</p><p>how long you sat there</p><p>with your limb </p><p>briskly spinning your java on autopilot</p><p>always no cream</p><p>barely a teaspoon of sugar</p><p>so I wonder if what you were really doing</p><p>was trying to dissolve</p><p>all your tears and fears</p><p><br /></p><p>On the underside rim</p><p>lies the mileage evidence</p><p>where it's clear that this mug </p><p>was your cherished companion</p><p>your ally during </p><p>life's storms and celebrations</p><p>traveled with you to every corner</p><p>of 40 Terrace Drive</p><p>saw all the sights of your beautiful mind</p><p>this friendship between you two</p><p>was sacred</p><p>this vessel held your joe</p><p>and your dreams</p><p>firmly in its grasp</p><p>until the day you left it</p><p>in my care</p><p><br /></p><p>I love the feel of the handle in my hand</p><p>sturdy and thick</p><p>like your love, reliability, and support</p><p>this mug has a density</p><p>my other mugs don't have--</p><p>I know because I pulled all of 'em</p><p>off the shelf</p><p>and did a thorough check--</p><p>they're not built like this one</p><p>they don't feel as dependable</p><p>which I guess makes sense</p><p>because in my whole life</p><p>I have never been able</p><p>to depend on anyone</p><p>more than you</p><p> </p><p>Even though I don't drink coffee</p><p>I'll keep letting your mug</p><p>hold my favorite beverages</p><p>while we form our own bond</p><p>as we trek the dimensions </p><p>of my home</p><p><br /></p><p>I'll definitely make sure</p><p>to fill it to the very top each time</p><p>to remind myself</p><p>that I'm worthy of a life </p><p>brimming with unapologetic joy</p><p><br /></p><p>And I won't even flinch</p><p>if the contents spill over</p><p><br /></p><p>Copyright 2022</p><p>Charlene E. Green</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlfLgb_4U-p_ckLnrM-tNfCYei8zzKg8P4xI-2jDeYUh1L2immOs4qCyYCWHCMigwBJf7NHBVa63EMg85j3c0k3yHTXSled9EZskmWpSug_WqeHeF_-EfK5NZH7ic9gpTQ3nWLZBbF1cGfBPO_E_sxoZI_a5OfYYTyMH5-GnUs1BEliuYZUlYT3wFSYw/s2547/mug1.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2547" data-original-width="1394" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlfLgb_4U-p_ckLnrM-tNfCYei8zzKg8P4xI-2jDeYUh1L2immOs4qCyYCWHCMigwBJf7NHBVa63EMg85j3c0k3yHTXSled9EZskmWpSug_WqeHeF_-EfK5NZH7ic9gpTQ3nWLZBbF1cGfBPO_E_sxoZI_a5OfYYTyMH5-GnUs1BEliuYZUlYT3wFSYw/s320/mug1.jpg" width="175" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVMS7uHWX1I8e0mVET_eUIbOpFqw-Ml09D33PtaS0zqQ_hZB39ORtS7V9JuTAyBpoQwO8p9K_SzCTP2k8Xhop7fdMb45vkTri_FtPcrtcu2NEqAn6bOulZ2LKmxTozfYvWfZPU7SLbU90dVJBIfVixEv2WPUWktXcOiD6QC6hPlzbBuMsa5hRgCFU8yA/s1912/mug3.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1912" data-original-width="1752" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVMS7uHWX1I8e0mVET_eUIbOpFqw-Ml09D33PtaS0zqQ_hZB39ORtS7V9JuTAyBpoQwO8p9K_SzCTP2k8Xhop7fdMb45vkTri_FtPcrtcu2NEqAn6bOulZ2LKmxTozfYvWfZPU7SLbU90dVJBIfVixEv2WPUWktXcOiD6QC6hPlzbBuMsa5hRgCFU8yA/s320/mug3.jpg" width="293" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8MAcKWjsxHJgdjtW1FKdhg0PU3MKUeFloyq9J_4KIMJWyFUeQG2dG2p_GLdYyBatiACzuOnkFoY-2KxSxp3ICSHIGsMh7mI24qxIQa0-RX7eZNWbOAH1YMpyRmR86rZCY0UK6TLJY69gdbqBbPNAbjZkkeaL9lwXdKXNYQtv6A6iajdyjgfC8M8YCig/s1797/mug2.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1797" data-original-width="1643" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8MAcKWjsxHJgdjtW1FKdhg0PU3MKUeFloyq9J_4KIMJWyFUeQG2dG2p_GLdYyBatiACzuOnkFoY-2KxSxp3ICSHIGsMh7mI24qxIQa0-RX7eZNWbOAH1YMpyRmR86rZCY0UK6TLJY69gdbqBbPNAbjZkkeaL9lwXdKXNYQtv6A6iajdyjgfC8M8YCig/s320/mug2.jpg" width="293" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><br /><br /><p><br /></p>Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-66182954768659841222022-06-24T12:12:00.026-07:002024-01-05T03:29:08.738-08:00MORE<p>She say, "I know I can be a lot,"</p><p>apology in eyes</p><p>recoil in tone </p><p>a momentary lapse</p><p>shrinkin' back into the shell</p><p>she labored her whole damn life</p><p>to bust out of</p><p>overtime hours nobody knew she put in</p><p>tryna get secure </p><p>in her melanated skin</p><p>mournful sighs </p><p>guttural moans</p><p>creak and pop of her bones</p><p>from the brazen pushback she gave</p><p>when they proclaimed she was forbidden</p><p>in spaces not built for her kind:</p><p>unapproved commentary </p><p>all that black body</p><p>brain power and curves</p><p>generational wisdom and savvy</p><p>packed so overflow in her</p><p>it be spurttin' like a rebellious sprinkler system </p><p>spontaneous and full blast</p><p>catch folks off guard</p><p>drench they tumbleweed minds</p><p>distress 'em so bad </p><p>they grimace and flail</p><p>mash they foot on her spout</p><p>till she </p><p>SHUT THE HELL UP...</p><p>but her force too grand</p><p>flow unstoppable </p><p>so she always erupt </p><p>before long</p><p><br /></p><p>She say it</p><p>like she forgot she the classified</p><p>spice in this world's flavor</p><p>recipe ain't even complete </p><p>till she pepper herself in it</p><p>her discretion</p><p>she control the measurement</p><p>they ain't about to deplete her</p><p>greedy spirit governin' they palates</p><p>clamorin' for heftier portions</p><p>but she understand </p><p>it only take a dash</p><p>to balance the brew</p><p>so she keep her setting</p><p>on shake</p><p>not pour</p><p>cuz everyone knows</p><p>including her</p><p>they up Shit Creek</p><p>if she empty</p><p><br /></p><p>Say it</p><p>like ain't nobody told her</p><p>processes be stalled</p><p>till she put hands on 'em</p><p>business all kinda unfinished</p><p>inexplicable confusion abound</p><p>till she bewitch her way</p><p>through a scene</p><p>like her ancestors </p><p>were forced to do</p><p>for centuries</p><p>oh yeah</p><p>she got it honest</p><p>indigenous elixir in her blood </p><p>only reason they can keep calm</p><p>and carry on</p><p><br /></p><p>She say, "I know I can be a lot"</p><p>like she still ain't sure</p><p>she deserve</p><p>to be out that shell</p><p>roamin' free</p><p>command in her step </p><p>like she belong </p><p>fixture they cain't live without</p><p>like she ain't that hallowed safe</p><p>holdin' the all the fortune</p><p>like she ain't the one card</p><p>in the deck</p><p>everybody know </p><p>they gotta be lucky enough</p><p>to pull</p><p>for the win</p><p>like she ain't that vital Jenga piece</p><p>they BET NOT move</p><p>from the foundation</p><p>or that bitch </p><p>gon' come crashin' down</p><p>like cain't nobody see her value</p><p>like she don't believe</p><p>her "a lot" </p><p>will NEVER be enough</p><p><br /></p><p>They gon' always need</p><p>MORE</p><p><br /></p><p>©2022 Charlene E. Green</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-33682439073597533302022-06-15T00:30:00.009-07:002022-11-03T00:34:09.821-07:00THE REBIRTH<span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"Thankful to the people I spoke to after my show Saturday night, who inspired this poem.","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">**Thankful to the people I spoke to after my show Saturday night, who inspired this poem.**</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"They tell me I'm","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">They tell me I'm</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"the new church on the block ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">the new church on the block </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"built different from any other ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">built different from any other </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"my tongue","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">my tongue</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"a rarefied bible ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">a rarefied bible </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"whose narratives be simultaneous","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">whose narratives be simultaneous</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"swing-pull-hug","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">swing-pull-hug</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"knock ’em out the pew","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">knock ’em out the pew</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"with one punch ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">with one blow</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"their self-loathing ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">their self-loathing </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"a dune of hazardous waste ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">a dune of hazardous waste </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"upon the floor ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">upon the floor </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"exposed ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">exposed </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"unable to deny ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">unable to deny </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"a frightful sight ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">a frightful sight </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"then ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">then </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"embolden them ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">embolden them </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"to dust off their dismay","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">to dust off their dismay</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"stand up confidently to ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">stand up confidently and</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"turn to The Book of Empowerment ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">turn to The Book of Empowerment </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"Chapter 7, Verse 24","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">Chapter 7, Verse 24</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"which states: ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">which states: </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"Honor thy spirit ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">Honor thy spirit </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"and thou shall glide through the storms of life ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">and thou shall glide through the storms of life </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"and reside among the peaceful and free","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">and reside among the peaceful and free</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"endowed with renewed faith ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">endowed with renewed faith </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"and mended esteem","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">and mended esteem</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"They say my word","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">They say my word</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"is a same-day funeral-Baptism-wedding","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">be a same-day funeral-Baptism-wedding</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"lay their broken lives to rest ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">lay their broken lives to rest </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"their dismembered souls strewn wildly","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">dismembered souls strewn wildly</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"amid closed caskets ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">amid closed caskets </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"unfit for viewing ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">unfit for viewing </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"dip their feeble spirits ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">dip their feeble spirits </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"in the cool","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">in the cool</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"refreshing proverb ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">refreshing proverb </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"of hope","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">of hope</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"release them from ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">deliver them from </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"the sin of self-harm ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">the sin of self-harm </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"walk their rehabilitated beings ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">walk their rehabilitated beings </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"down the aisle ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">down the aisle </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"give them away","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">give them away</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"to begin a repaired life ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">to begin a repaired life </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"with their new ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">with their </span><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"healed self ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">healed self </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"to love and cherish ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">to love and cherish </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"for better or worse ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">for better or worse </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"in sickness and health","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">in sickness and health</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"forsaking all others' ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">forsaking all others' </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"negative perceptions","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">negative perceptions</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"judgments","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">judgments</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"and commentary ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">and commentary </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"for as long as they shall live ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">for as long as they shall live </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"They whisper ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">They whisper to me</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"in confession ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">in confession</span><div><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"in confession ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text"></span>their grievous yearning</div><div>for emotional stability<br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"ask how to forgive themselves ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">ask how to forgive themselves </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"for decades of self-induced mistreatment ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">for decades of self-induced mistreatment </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"cry out in anguish ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">howl in anguish </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"ashamed of the mess they've made ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">ashamed of the mess they've made </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"of their psyche ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">of their psyche</span></div><div><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"of their psyche ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text"></span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"until I direct them ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">Until I direct them </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"to The Book of You ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">to The Book of You </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"Chapter 9, Verse 16","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">Chapter 9, Verse 16</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"which states: ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">which states: </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"Thou canst do all things ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">Thou canst do all things </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"through the courage residing within; ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">through the courage residing within</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"forgiveness reigns when remorse of denigration is felt","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">forgiveness reigns when </span></div><div><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"forgiveness reigns when remorse of denigration is felt","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">remorse of self-denigration is felt</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"changed behavior is employed","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">changed behavior employed</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"and acceptance of imperfection is pursued; ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">and acceptance of imperfection pursued</span></div><div><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"thou art in command; ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">Thou art in command</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"thou hast choice; ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">thou hast choice</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"choose self-love","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">choose self-love</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"They declare my sermons ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">They declare my sermons </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"be anointed ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">be anointed </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"affirmations of worthiness ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">affirmations of worthiness </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"truth-bearing mirror on the wall ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">truth-bearing mirror on the wall </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"promising that underneath ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">promising underneath </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"the inner decay and downfall ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">the inner decay and downfall </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"lives the fairest self of them all ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">lives the fairest self of them all </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"ready for introduction ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">ready for introduction </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"to the world","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">to the world</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"They rise from their seats ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">They rise from their seats </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"gather their properly adjusted crowns","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">gather their properly adjusted crowns</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"and self-respect ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">self-respect </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"flood my collection plate ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">flood my collection plate </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"with appreciation and delight ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">with appreciation and delight </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"exit the sanctuary ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">exit the sanctuary </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"turnt up","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">turnt up</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"blessed with the spirit ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">blessed with the spirit </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"of ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">of </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"I AM ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">I AM </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"capable","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">capable</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"I AM ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">I AM </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"deserving ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">deserving </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"I AM","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">I AM</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"enough","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">enough</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"I AM","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">I AM</span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"LOVE ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">LOVE </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"©2022 ","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">©2022 </span><br data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"type":"linebreak","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="linebreak" /><span data-lexical-editor-key="uwqtp" data-lexical-node-json="{"detail":0,"format":0,"mode":"normal","style":"","text":"Charlene E. Green","type":"text","version":1}" data-lexical-node-type="text">Charlene E. Green</span></div>Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-18918009805782141862022-04-14T02:39:00.001-07:002022-04-14T11:27:52.167-07:00Holy<p>You're a prayer</p><p>a need</p><p>a gimme right now</p><p>a sweet tooth</p><p>sleep deprivation</p><p>a daydream and nightmare</p><p>a soul itch</p><p>a bite my bottom lip and covet</p><p>a what if I can't get to you</p><p>a get my shit together so I can</p><p><br /></p><p>You're a sacrifice</p><p>a Simon Says</p><p>a looped thought</p><p>a heart murmur</p><p>a secret creeping from my pores</p><p>an ego check</p><p>a Freudian slip</p><p>a tsk-tsk and an aht-aht</p><p>a praise dance</p><p>a gallon of patience</p><p>an answer within six questions</p><p><br /></p><p>You are</p><p>clasped hands and sore knuckles</p><p>a soon</p><p>a hope</p><p>baited breath</p><p>a please and thank you</p><p><br /></p><p>a rooftop-screeched</p><p>AMEN</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-39330516287548924032021-06-05T11:55:00.004-07:002021-06-05T19:38:18.000-07:00MERCY<div>**I've been trying to tell this story, in writing, since July 2020. Today, the one-year anniversary of Mommy's death, it is done. This is not the full story; lots of backstory details are missing. But they're not needed for this version to be a complete meal. I'll write the full one at a later date. **</div><div><br /></div>In movies<br />
and on TV<br />
we often see<br />
terminally ill people<br />
begging those they love<br />
to help them die<div><br />
don't just stand there<br />
watching them suffer<br />
do something<br />
make it stop<br />
<br />
In movies<br />
and on TV<br />
it's all fake<br />
<br />
until in real life<br />
your life<br />
it's not<br />
<br />
You think you know<br />
compassion<br />
selflessness<br />
think you've displayed them<br />
in the biggest ways<br />
think you've helped people<br />
done the most valuable favors<br />
given of yourself<br />
in the hardest ways</div><div><br />
you think<br />
when you tell<br />
someone you love<br />
you'll do anything<br />
for them<br />
you'll have the strength<br />
when the time comes<br />
to do whatever</div><div><br />
no matter what<br />
whatever<br />
is<br />
<br />
until<br />
whatever<br />is help them die<br />
<br />
In movies<br />
and on TV<br />
the anguish<br />
on the face<br />of the loved one<br />being stared in the eye<br />while hearing that plea for help<br />
is fake<br />
<br />
until in real life<br />
your life<br />
on your face<br />
it's not<br />
<br />
When your mother<br />
now barely 90 pounds<br />
whose skeleton<br />
dismally protrudes<br />
through her rice-paper thin</div><div>brown skin<br />
whose ability to tend<br />
to her basic needs<br />
even the simplest of them<br />
has been savagely snatched<br />
by The Intruder<br />
while you watched<br />
her discouragingly rapid decline<br />
for weeks</div><div><br />
when you witness your mother<br />
whose idea of freedom<br />
is self-sufficiency<br />
grow angrier<br />
more rebellious<br />
more defeated by the hour<br />
because her freedom</div><div>has run its 76-year course</div><div><br />
when your mother<br />
stops fighting and instead<br />
starts verbalizing<br />
her intense desire<br />
to exit the scene<br />
posthaste</div><div><br />
when your mother<br />
has already been<br />
subtly asking you<br />
to help her escape</div><div><br />
when your mother<br />two days<br />
before her flight<br />
looks you in the face<br />
as you two struggle<br />
to adjust her ravaged body<br />
in bed<br />
and wails in gut-wrenching agony:<br />
"HELP MEEEE!<br />
I'M SUFFERIIIIING!"<br />
and your heart<br />
airbags<br />
inside your chest<br />
from the crushing<br />
verbal impact</div><div><br />
when your mother<br />
finally declares<br />
a state of emergency</div><div><br />
you call 911</div><div><br /></div><div>but not on the phone</div><div><br /></div><div>they can't bring her</div><div>the help she wants</div><div><br /></div><div>you gotta go</div><div>above their heads</div><div>way above</div><div><br /></div><div>you gotta call</div><div>the ancestors</div><div><br /></div><div>Of the myriad on staff</div><div>you're certain</div><div>of the most influential</div><div><br /></div><div>six</div><div><br /></div><div>the ones whose grip</div><div>would be firm enough</div><div>yet still loving enough</div><div>to convince her to let go</div><div>come live with them </div><div>in the upgraded realm</div><div>where she would know</div><div>the best kind of freedom</div><div>convince her</div><div>that her only child</div><div>her last-living sister</div><div>and all her unfinished business</div><div>that weighed so heavily</div><div>on her heart</div><div>will be covered </div><div>and handled</div><div>with the utmost care</div><div><br /><div>Two days after her plea</div><div>consciousness waning</div><div>suffering deepening</div><div>yet grip on the unfree world</div><div>still tight enough with worry</div><div>to keep her bound</div><div><br /></div><div>you make the literal</div><div>life-changing call</div><div>intentionally</div><div>verbally</div><div>clearly</div><div>with your whole chest</div><div>with all your faculties in place</div><div><br /></div><div>with the knowledge</div><div>that 911 calls</div><div>are the most serious</div><div>of them all</div><div><br /></div><div>You get in the car</div><div>start driving </div><div>and you call the six of them</div><div>one by one</div><div>loudly</div><div>by name</div><div>tell them to listen</div><div>tell them you're serious</div><div>tell them you understand </div><div>what you're about to say</div><div>give them explicit instructions</div><div><br /></div><div>"She's tired.</div><div>She's suffering.</div><div>She doesn't wanna be here.</div><div>But she won't let go.</div><div>One of you has the influence.</div><div>One of you can make her let go.</div><div>So one of you gotta come get her.</div><div>I don't care who.</div><div>But one of you gotta do it.</div><div>And you gotta come get her</div><div>TONIGHT</div><div>While Pauline is still here.</div><div>Before she goes home for the weekend.</div><div>She has to be here with me when it happens.</div><div>So you gotta come get her...tonight."</div><div><br /></div><div>You finish your command</div><div>drop the bills at the post office—</div><div>the bills for June </div><div>that she was so upset </div><div>the day before</div><div>that you hadn't mailed yet—</div><div>go back home</div><div>call freshly made</div><div>and lie on her bed</div><div>while she thrashes incessantly</div><div>in the hospice bed</div><div>and watch her</div><div>for four hours</div><div>the two of you</div><div>engaging in countless </div><div>wordless glances</div><div><br /></div><div>glances you know</div><div>are the last ones </div><div>you'll ever share</div><div><br /></div><div>At 10:14 p.m.</div><div>on June 5th</div><div>when you look at the clock</div><div>after you</div><div>and her sister</div><div>with hands affixed to her body</div><div>have stood inches from her face</div><div>watching her finally let go</div><div>you look in your mother's peaceful eyes</div><div>before you gently</div><div>press them closed for good</div><div>and ask her:</div><div><br /></div><div>"Which one of 'em</div><div>came and got you?"</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>©2021 Charlene E. Green</div><div><br /></div></div>Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-76671418319218439112021-01-30T21:03:00.004-08:002022-05-29T12:53:39.456-07:00WEAPONIZEDIn 2020<br />we found out<br />you no longer need<br />a gat<br />blade<br />or bomb<br />to set it off<br />spark panic <br />let 'em know<br />who got the juice<br /><br />In 2020 and beyond<br />without a mask<br />it's all you<br />you the one<br />got 'em wincin'<br />divertin'<br />unnerved<br /><br />You out here packin'<br />concealed-carryin'<br />showin' <br />not tellin'<br />you ain't the one<br />to be fucked wit'<br /><br />You say<br />come at me<br />bitch<br />put your life <br />in my hands<br />git closer than<br />six feet<br />feel the ferocity<br />of this tainted breath<br />trashing your orifices<br />let these <br />hazardous particles<br />from this exposed<br />sneeze and cough<br />I sullied the space with<br />engulf the membranes<br />of your nose<br />slither through your parted-lip grin<br />cut a rug on your tongue<br />roughhouse in your throat<br />picnic on your hands<br />the same diseased hands<br />I watch you mindlessly rub <br />your irritated eyes with<br />while I smile in your face<br />and literally<br />kill you<br /><br />But not softly<br />my shit potent<br />more lethal<br />than carbon monoxide<br />snatch up your whole family<br />all your Day Ones<br />your baes and babies<br />in a single birthday party<br />graduation celebration<br />holiday dinner<br />cease all that<br />huggin', touchin', and kissin'<br />faster than a prison guard<br />on visit day<br />separate you<br />from your treasured beloved<br />on their deathbed<br />saying your sob-filled goodbyes<br />from the other side<br />of a hospital window<br />tracing I love yous<br />across the glass<br />or <br />from your house<br />car<div>or the hospital lobby<br />on Zoom<br />instead of up close<br />holding their hand<br />ushering them on to the afterlife<br />like your spirit needs<br /><br />You<br />without a mask<br />21st-century firing line<br />walking hot spot<br />black sheep of humanity<br />your naked mug<br />banned from all businesses<br />illegal in some states<br />encountering you<br />is like being thrust<br />into an unexpected game<br />of Russian roulette <br /><br />In 2020 and beyond<br />don't forget<br />to cue Bell Biv DeVoe—</div><div>the remix:<br />never trust a BARE FACE...<br />and a smile<br /><br /><div>©2021 Charlene E. Green</div></div>Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-1351702486791533802020-07-09T22:29:00.000-07:002020-07-09T23:57:50.132-07:00MULTIPLE CHOICEDear Mommy,<br />
<br />
Some days<br />
your death feels like<br />
a calculus exam<br />
laid in front of me<br />
when I can only do<br />
basic arithmetic<br />
<br />
or<br />
being jarred from sleep<br />
in the middle of the night<br />
by a starved<br />
angry grizzly bear<br />
tearing down the tent<br />
while on a camping trip<br />
<br />
or<br />
an offensive comment<br />
my spirit is forced<br />
to listen to<br />
at ear-splitting decibels<br />
on repeat<br />
<br />
or<br />
being trapped<br />
in a small room<br />
with the incessant<br />
low-battery beep<br />
of a smoke detector<br />
<br />
or<br />
biting my tongue<br />
in the same spot<br />
28 times<br />
in one day<br />
<br />
or<br />
having gum surgery done<br />
without anesthesia<br />
<br />
or<br />
being shoved<br />
in the back<br />
and crashing face-first<br />
into a pile<br />
of glass-shard-filled dirt<br />
<br />
or<br />
steel-toe cowboy boots<br />
knocking violently<br />
against my temples<br />
<br />
or<br />
cat claws<br />
being slowly dragged<br />
across the entirety<br />
of my body<br />
<br />
or<br />
I'm not strong enough<br />
for this today<br />
<br />
or<br />
I want to<br />
genie-blink<br />
your ashes<br />
back into your flesh<br />
so I can rest my forehead<br />
against yours<br />
and we can nuzzle noses<br />
one more time<br />
<br />
or<br />
please come back<br />
<br />
or<br />
I miss you<br />
<br />
or<br />
I need you<br />
<br />
or<br />
I love you<br />
<br />
or<br />
D<br />
all of the above<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-72147368813627049372020-06-23T20:56:00.001-07:002020-06-23T22:58:09.754-07:00HOW TO BE A NEWLY ORPHANED ADULT IN SEVEN EASY STEPS1. Remind yourself every hour<br />
that you're grown<br />
and you been on your own<br />
for decades now<br />
so stop acting like<br />
you really need parents<br />
to get you through<br />
the days and years<br />
specifically<br />
Mommy<br />
<br />
2. Tell yourself<br />
every time you cry<br />
for longer than 5 minutes<br />
to suck it up—<br />
that's too much damn sobbing<br />
in one day<br />
you ain't got the energy<br />
to spare...<br />
you got the rest of your life<br />
to battle this demon<br />
and you're gonna need<br />
all these precious tears<br />
you're squandering<br />
today<br />
<br />
3. Be sure to show<br />
at least five extra teeth<br />
and turn on all the lights<br />
in your eyes<br />
when you smile at strangers<br />
who ask how you are—<br />
you need them to believe you<br />
when you lie and say<br />
you're good—<br />
you're in no way prepared<br />
to let the truth slip out...<br />
so keep those acting lessons<br />
you took in the 90s<br />
tucked in your back pocket<br />
<br />
4. Walk around all day<br />
with your fists balled up<br />
so that every time the panic<br />
about the fact that<br />
Mommy's house<br />
is no longer gonna be home<br />
for you<br />
once you clear it out and leave<br />
sneaks up beside you<br />
and tries to hold your hand<br />
you'll be prepared<br />
at all times<br />
to sock that fucker<br />
in the throat<br />
<br />
5. Spend at least thirty minutes<br />
every morning<br />
rehearsing the myriad ways<br />
there are to tell people<br />
Mommy's never coming back<br />
before you leave the house<br />
and possibly see people<br />
who haven't heard yet<br />
or get on the phone<br />
to handle her affairs<br />
so your spirit will be strong enough<br />
to withstand the force<br />
of the torrent<br />
distressing your tear ducts<br />
<br />
6. Do not loiter<br />
in the spot in the house<br />
where you spent the most time together—<br />
you know your breathing tends<br />
to get a little shallow<br />
your eyes dart erratically<br />
and your nerves fray—<br />
just dip through<br />
get what the hell you need<br />
and get the<br />
fuck<br />
out<br />
<br />
7. When you go to bed<br />
don't kid yourself<br />
into thinking tomorrow<br />
is gonna be any better<br />
than today<br />
cuz you've only been<br />
a grown-ass orphan<br />
for 2.5 weeks<br />
and Lord knows<br />
this is only the trailer<br />
for this horror flick<br />
that you will never<br />
be able to get up<br />
and walk out of<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-51350691995459957522020-06-15T19:07:00.000-07:002020-06-15T20:19:46.030-07:00KID/SISTERWho better<br />
more appropriate<br />
than the two of us<br />
to send you<br />
into the ancestral realm?<br />
<br />
We<br />
The Onlys<br />
the baby sister—<br />
last of the five—<br />
and the lone child<br />
a two-woman team<br />
who cherished you<br />
in ways no others could<br />
came together<br />
combined all the love<br />
in their hearts<br />
and gave every bit of it<br />
to you<br />
<br />
I didn't do it alone<br />
that would've been impossible<br />
<br />
I did large chunks alone<br />
yes<br />
but<br />
when we were together<br />
in this house<br />
with you—<br />
when sister<br />
and daughter<br />
joined forces<br />
two<br />
sometimes three<br />
days a week<br />
during your last month<br />
with us<br />
our care and devotion<br />
were unmatched<br />
<br />
Cuz we knew you<br />
we understood you<br />
we knew how<br />
to figure out<br />
the you<br />
that The Intruder<br />
was turning you into<br />
better than anyone else could<br />
cuz you were...<br />
a special kinda patient<br />
one who needed<br />
a special kinda care<br />
interaction<br />
conversation<br />
communication<br />
one who<br />
would not have done well<br />
with other people<br />
people not us<br />
your kid<br />
and your sister<br />
nope<br />
nobody woulda been able<br />
to speak to you<br />
handle you<br />
pacify you<br />
like us<br />
nobody woulda been able<br />
to embrace your special<br />
the way we did<br />
nah<br />
they wouldn't have gotten<br />
your jokes<br />
wouldn't have been amused by<br />
your snide remarks<br />
would've been put off by<br />
your super-specific<br />
demands and requests<br />
wouldn't have known when<br />
to be firm with you<br />
wouldn't have had<br />
the slightest idea<br />
how to fight with you<br />
shut your madness down<br />
would have surely<br />
gotten fed up<br />
with your constant<br />
escape-artist act—<br />
oh, man<br />
you and your escaping<br />
from the bed<br />
time and time again<br />
after promising every day<br />
to STOP...<br />
and you didn't stop<br />
had no intention of stopping<br />
until you physically couldn't<br />
do it anymore<br />
<br />
MY GAWD<br />
YOU WERE SO...<br />
JULIE!<br />
*SIGH*<br />
<br />
No<br />
just us<br />
The Onlys<br />
could do that job<br />
cuz it had to be done<br />
with love<br />
and nobody loved you<br />
more than we two<br />
<br />
And when you decided<br />
to make your exit<br />
you made sure<br />
to have us<br />
right there in the room<br />
focused<br />
hands-on<br />
so you could see us<br />
feel us<br />
so we three<br />
could be together<br />
for the last time<br />
for your last hurrah<br />
your final minutes<br />
so we could look you in the eyes<br />
watch your spirit flee your body<br />
kiss you good night<br />
then comfort each other<br />
after<br />
<br />
You made sure to leave<br />
enveloped in the love<br />
of your two favorite people:<br />
your kid<br />
and your sister<br />
the only ones<br />
who could send you<br />
out of this realm<br />
in peaceHustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-62568172197651557252020-06-15T08:34:00.001-07:002020-12-29T09:38:16.346-08:00WASReferring to and thinking of you<br />
in the past tense<br />
is really...<br />
just stupid to me<br />
<br />
I mean<br />
it truly sounds<br />
stupid<br />
cuz you were just here<br />
you've always been here<br />
<br />
See that?<br />
I said "were"<br />
<br />
Stupid<br />
<br />
Day Ones and I<br />
came in really late<br />
the other night<br />
from a much-needed break<br />
from purging your things<br />
and when I opened the front door<br />
I forgot<br />
for about five seconds<br />
you weren't inside<br />
sleeping<br />
not wanting<br />
to be jarred awake<br />
by our burst of energy<br />
our midnight-hour cackles<br />
the singing<br />
of the Prince song<br />
that we had just heard<br />
on the radio<br />
and belted so loudly<br />
prior to getting out<br />
and I found myself<br />
trying to be quiet<br />
till I remembered<br />
your bed was empty<br />
cuz you weren't here<br />
you're never gonna be here<br />
again<br />
<br />
What kinda sense does that even make?<br />
<br />
It doesn't<br />
cuz it's stupid<br />
<br />
It's as stupid as every time<br />
my phone rings now<br />
and when the people<br />
on the other end<br />
talk to me about you<br />
I have to respond<br />
with past-tense terms<br />
but I don't do it right away<br />
all the time<br />
cuz I forget<br />
that you're no longer IS<br />
and then I have to backtrack<br />
correct myself<br />
correct myself about<br />
your being<br />
your permanent not-here-ness<br />
permanent<br />
that's a long fucking time<br />
you know<br />
<br />
And what kinda sense does it make<br />
for me to be fumbling over that distinction<br />
in eight out of ten calls?<br />
<br />
It doesn't<br />
cuz it's stupid...<br />
and annoying<br />
to be honest<br />
cuz I know<br />
that correction<br />
isn't gonna change<br />
your status isn't gonna revert<br />
it's not like I can<br />
wait it out<br />
like your IS<br />
is gonna return<br />
and allow me<br />
to get back<br />
to speaking<br />
and thinking of you<br />
the way I did<br />
before June 5th<br />
<br />
And what kinda sense does it make<br />
for June 5th<br />
to now be responsible<br />
for the reason<br />
I have to forever<br />
change the way<br />
I speak<br />
about your existence?<br />
<br />
Like<br />
June 5th and I<br />
may never be cool again<br />
I may indefinitely<br />
side-eye that mug<br />
wanna cuss it out<br />
even cause it harm<br />
<br />
And look at me<br />
talking about injuring<br />
a goddamn calendar date<br />
as payback<br />
for the way it has<br />
injured me<br />
<br />
Yep<br />
I'm absolutely annoyed<br />
right now<br />
currently<br />
PRESENT<br />
TENSEHustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-44734873358868888192020-06-12T23:47:00.002-07:002020-06-13T00:15:07.929-07:00TRUSTTwo days before you left<br />
I asked you<br />
if you were worried about me<br />
and you said:<br />
"No. You'll be all right."<br />
<br />
But for the weeks<br />
leading up to that<br />
you had been secretly<br />
telling friends and fam<br />
that you were concerned<br />
you asked them<br />
to check on me<br />
after you were gone<br />
make sure I was okay<br />
<br />
you were ready to go<br />
but not ready<br />
to leave me<br />
your baby<br />
you needed assurance<br />
that when you did fly<br />
I wouldn't stand there<br />
paralyzed<br />
you needed to feel certain<br />
I would release you<br />
and finish walking my path<br />
without hesitation<br />
<br />
then<br />
<br />
as I took care of you<br />
no previous experience<br />
just ran head-first<br />
blindly<br />
into The Intruder's<br />
booby trap<br />
stood strong<br />
amid your weak<br />
didn't flinch<br />
at the unpredictability<br />
the scary<br />
the downright messy<br />
of your sick<br />
no matter how hard<br />
it was to watch you<br />
suffer through it<br />
<br />
as you watched<br />
my friends<br />
who consider you<br />
their other mother<br />
come through and<br />
love on me<br />
and you<br />
make me laugh<br />
help me help you<br />
help keep me standing<br />
when you knew<br />
I wanted to fall<br />
as you saw<br />
how well I covered you<br />
how well they covered me<br />
you saw nothing but<br />
stability<br />
<br />
you knew<br />
I would be able to cover<br />
myself<br />
and then<br />
<br />
you started to let go<br />
decline hastened<br />
body parts began<br />
to shut down<br />
<br />
you started packing<br />
when you knew it was safe<br />
to travel<br />
<br />
Two days before you left<br />
I asked you<br />
if you were worried about me<br />
and you said:<br />
"No. You'll be all right,"<br />
<br />
and your word<br />
has always been sturdy<br />
<br />Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-41816618632010178982020-06-12T20:16:00.000-07:002020-06-12T20:16:42.587-07:00PUSHI cried through my entire dinner<br />
but I was hungry<br />
so I ate<br />
<br />
salted my food<br />
with teardrops<br />
chewed and swallowed with obligation—<br />
I mustn't be wasteful—<br />
you wouldn't wanna see that<br />
you wanna see me go forth<br />
thrive<br />
take good care of myself<br />
even if I bawl while doing it<br />
even if I don't know how I'm gonna<br />
make it to the next moment<br />
without you<br />
even if I feel like a mess<br />
too wretched to clean up<br />
<br />
you would want me to keep going<br />
no matter how many days<br />
or years<br />
you've been gone<br />
no matter how painful it is<br />
no matter how confused<br />
scared<br />
skeptical<br />
I am<br />
about how I'm gonna<br />
be<br />
anything<br />
something worth smiling about<br />
something you'll be relieved about<br />
something that'll make me feel<br />
like I really did the damn thang<br />
in your absence<br />
<br />
you would want me to thrive<br />
no matter how many meals<br />
I gotta salt<br />
with these tears<br />
to get thereHustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-14453164979665420512020-06-12T20:03:00.001-07:002020-06-12T20:03:30.626-07:00THIEFPeople loved you for<br />
your grace and modesty; heart<br />
snatching was your gameHustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-10673048443741672172020-06-09T21:10:00.000-07:002020-06-09T21:21:43.108-07:00FLURRY OF EMOTIONS, PART TWOCLAIM<br />
<br />
The Intruder took<br />
your body. I took your soul<br />
to use as my guide.<br />
<br />
DOCUMENTATION<br />
<br />
I'll tell our story<br />
through all the haiku, free verse,<br />
and prose I can write.<br />
<br />
ESCORT<br />
<br />
In the midnight hour<br />
she told me (sister) Linette<br />
helped her cross over.<br />
<br />
GOALS<br />
<br />
I'll shine again one<br />
day, like the light in your eyes,<br />
and smile on your face.<br />
<br />
EVERYTHING BUT<br />
<br />
I want them to leave<br />
the hospital bed. It's the<br />
last place I held you.<br />
<br />
CONSISTENCY<br />
<br />
Even at death, you<br />
were intentional, just like<br />
you were in your life.<br />
<br />Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-51765061072466525152020-06-08T00:41:00.000-07:002020-06-08T02:04:15.572-07:00FLURRY OF EMOTIONSTHE MAIN INGREDIENT<br />
<br />
Body shutting down<br />
limbs getting cold, only love<br />
to keep you comfy<br />
<br />
REGARDLESS<br />
<br />
Although declining<br />
you'll still cuss a MF out...<br />
it's me. I'm MF!<br />
<br />
ACCEPTANCE<br />
<br />
Lying here with you<br />
knowing these are our last hours<br />
together in flesh<br />
<br />
INTUITION<br />
<br />
Kept opening eyes<br />
looking at me. We both knew<br />
they were last glimpses.<br />
<br />
ASSISTANCE<br />
<br />
Ancestor(s) came to<br />
get her last night, like I asked.<br />
Now we can both rest.<br />
<br />
RELIEF<br />
<br />
Watched you take final<br />
breaths. Watched your face melt into<br />
joyous place of peace.<br />
<br />
MAKE-BELIEVE<br />
<br />
Telling myself I'm<br />
house sitting while you're away<br />
or I may lose it<br />
<br />
TRANSFERENCE OF ENERGY<br />
<br />
Wearing your jammies<br />
to bed. Maybe they'll help me<br />
wake up more like you.Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-56597514416475267422020-05-30T00:21:00.000-07:002020-05-30T08:29:38.266-07:00AFRAID OF THE DARK<br /><br />After you're gone...<br />after The Intruder<br />cleans its plate<br />puts its utensils down<br />sighs with satisfaction<br />and takes you from me...<br />what will I do<br />in this house<br />alone<br />once all the people<br />who have come to <br />help me<br />cry with me<br />cradle me in their arms<br />tell me I'm gonna be fine<br />tell me they're here for me<br />tell me they understand<br />encourage me to eat<br />urge me to get some sleep<br />push me to take care of myself<br />advise me about<br />how to go on without you...<br /><br /> have left? <br /><br />cuz they have lives<br />families<br />jobs<br />other important things<br />they have to do<br />that they've put off<br />long enough<br />to be here<br />"emo-sitting" me<br /><div>
<br /></div>
<div>
what then?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
there will come a time<br />when I'll have to face<br />the silence<br />the empty<br />the fact that when I <br />"darken up" the house at night<br />it'll just be<br />me<br />and your vacant room<br />your purse<br />shoes<br />clothes<br />toiletries<br />computer<br />bills<br />all your things<br />but no you<br /><br />what will I do<br />how will I comfort myself<br />that first night<br />after they've all gone<br />and you're gone too<br />and I'm here<br />by myself<br />wind whistling outside<br />neighbors next door<br />across the street<br />raccoons and coyotes<br />running amok<br />in the roads<br />like it's a regular night<br />like I'm not over here<br />WTFing<br />staring at walls<br />peering around in confusion<br />screeching at the moon<br />trying to convince myself<br />I'm gonna sleep soundly<br />or at all...<br /><br /> I said<br />what will I do?<br /><br />why aren't you answering me, Mommy?<br /><br /> I need answers<br />I need the cheat sheet<br />for this fucked-up test<br />I'm gonna hafta take<br />at some point<br />when you leave me<br />here<br />in a house only you<br />have called home<br />and I am tasked<br />with residing here<br />till I'm done<br />closing you out <br />with piecing together<br />this terrifying lesson<br />that Life has handed me<br />for which I have<br />absolutely<br />no<br />plan<br /><br /><br /> <br /></div>
Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-57375617306149953922020-05-29T22:29:00.000-07:002020-05-30T09:31:46.330-07:00MORE BLACK LIFE LOSSTYPECAST<br />
<br />
Won't let "I can't breathe"<br />
be the one-liner you keep<br />
forcing us to moan<br />
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/georgefloyd?__eep__=6&source=feed_text&epa=HASHTAG">#GeorgeFloyd</a> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/ericgarner?__eep__=6&source=feed_text&epa=HASHTAG">#EricGarner</a> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/breatheforthem?__eep__=6&source=feed_text&epa=HASHTAG">#BreatheForThem</a><br />
<br />
STAND-IN<br />
<br />
Took a breath tonight<br />
deep, long, for George Floyd, like the<br />
one he struggled for<br />
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/georgefloyd?__eep__=6&source=feed_text&epa=HASHTAG">#GeorgeFloyd</a> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/breatheforhim?__eep__=6&source=feed_text&epa=HASHTAG">#BreatheForHim</a><br />
<br />
MIRROR IMAGE<br />
<br />
They're the main looters:<br />
stealing black lives from the arms<br />
and hearts of loved ones<br />
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/georgefloyd?__eep__=6&source=feed_text&epa=HASHTAG">#GeorgeFloyd</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-45096688351252207572020-05-29T12:10:00.000-07:002020-05-30T09:21:55.479-07:00NOTE TO SELFHarness vibe of "I<br />can do this" days; IV-drip<br />into days I can'tHustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-72927163442256798702020-05-25T22:35:00.000-07:002020-05-30T09:19:51.755-07:00BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARDThere are times <br />when I'm really "good at" <br />talking about<br /> planning for<br /> your death<br /> with myself<br /> with others<br /> with you<br /> cuz at this point<br /> these convos are<br /> essential<br /> plus<br /> I been wrapping my brain<br /> and my spirit<br /> around this maddening reality<br /> for almost six months<br /><br />so <br /><br />there are times when <br />I'm not in jeopardy<br />of bursting into tears <br />I can hang tough <br />talk about your impending <br />"goneness"<br />with relative ease <br />feeling like <br />I really got this <br />like I'm pretty much ready <br />for the moment this ride <br />halts <br />and I gotta <br />make the calls <br />break the news <br />handle all your biz <br />empty your house <br />and go start my life <br />from ground zero <br />without you <br />figure out <br />who the fuck I am <br />without a mama<br />to call <br />send cards to <br />text eyeballs <br />email all my writing projects <br />fresh off the keyboard <br />to sleep eight stairs away from <br />in the guest room <br />when I come home to visit <br />to harass about <br />the junk food <br />with all the chemicals <br />preservatives <br />and redblueyellow dyes <br />you got invading your fridge <br />to say good night to <br /><br />yeah <br /><br />I be feelin' real ready <br /><br />until morning comes <br />and The Intruder <br />causes a commotion <br />one I've never seen <br />one I gotta move you through <br />alone <br />cuz when my help was here <br />his punk ass was asleep <br />or on lunch <br />or doin' some other bullshit <br />that had me thinkin' <br />things might be mellow <br />for a minute <br /><br />but nah cuz <br />here we are <br />me, you, and "it," <br />and just when I think <br />I got shit under control <br />I can move us through <br />the storm <br />without incident... <br />you plead in agony <br />in fear <br />in tears <br />for me to help you— <br />you whisper my name <br />ask me to help you— <br />like I'm not right there <br />already helping you <br />cuz The Intruder <br />has you by the wits <br />feeling helpless <br />even though I gotchoo <div>
<br />YOU WHISPER MY NAME <br />ASK ME TO HELP YOU <br /><br />and when I get you to the bed <br />you collapse <br />in exhaustion <br />I tuck you in <br />wipe the panic <br />off my face <br />so you don't see me <br />about to crack <br />and then I realize <br /><br />I am nowhere near <br />ready <br /><br /> </div>
Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-32207456257086893102020-05-24T10:15:00.000-07:002020-05-30T09:07:59.731-07:00IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOODI remember when I was a kid <br />how hard I wished <br />I could tell you<br /> NO<br /> as many times as you<br /> said it to me<br /> and smooth<br /> get away with it <br /><br />I mean...really <br />what kid celebrates that word <br />anyway?<br /><br />(I tried it <br />you know I tried it <br />we ALL tried it <br />as kids... <br />and I don't know <br />about y'all <br />but ummmm... <br />all of my <br />NO's <br />ended with me <br />gettin' jammed up <br />and with my mama <br />there were levels <br />to the jam-up— <br />all depending <br />on what kinda <br />NO <br />I was bold enough <br />to throw in her face <div>
<br />I started working at 14 <br />cuz of that word <br />cuz it seemed like <br />there was some kinda <br />NO <br />trailing behind <br />so many of my requests <br />so many "unreasonable" excuses <br />for them <br />so many "Cuz I said so's" <br />after my pissy whys) <br /><br />Man... <br />I could not WAIT <br />till the day <br />I could tell you <br />NO <br />and not get jammed up <br /><br />I didn't know <br />how long it would take <br />how old I'd hafta be <br />or what situation <br />we'd hafta be in <br />for my <br />NO's <br />(cuz you know I wasn't gon' stop at just one) <br />to go over <br />without a jam-up <br />but lemme tell you <br />I was watchin' the proverbial clock <br /><br />These days<br />this month <br />this year <br />I have told you <br />NO <br />it seems like <br />789 times <br />and I have not <br />enjoyed any of them<br /><br />There are so many things <br />you wanna do <br />that you can't <br />things you don't wanna do <br />that you need to <br />things you want me to do <br />that I'm not allowed <br />things you wanna eat <br />that will make you sick(er) <br />things you never wanna do again <br />that the doctors say <br />you gotta do <br />for the duration <br />and here I am <br />NO-ing you <br />till you evil-eye me <br />till your feelings are hurt <br />till your defiance rises <br />till you're frustrated to tears <br />till you're mad as hell <br />till you're reminded of <br />how many limitations you have <br />cuz of how ill <br />you really are <br /><br />I wanna be able to say <br />YES <br />to all your requests and demands <br />but I can't</div>
<div>
<br />I gotta do <br />what's best for you <br />even though I know <br />you wanna jam me up <br /><br /> </div>
Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8095740561104919889.post-12437847752250967642020-05-23T11:00:00.000-07:002020-05-30T08:59:22.426-07:00MY BADMy favorite emoji <br />is the eyeballs 👀👀 <br />they crack me the hell up <br />I use them for mostly funny <br />and light moments <br />in social media posts <br />or to taunt friends and fam <br />when I'm waiting for a response <br />to a question I've asked <br />a task I've doled out <br />information I'm looking for <br />or when I'm just checking on them <br /><br />Mom gets the biggest kick out of 'em <br />always says she laughs <br />when I text her <br />a string of eyeballs <br />and nothing else<br /><br />But now that <br />I'm in her house <br />with her <br />and The Intruder <br />I no longer text eyeballs... <br />I have my real eyes on her <br />all day long <br /><br />Sometimes <br />there are these moments <br />when she's so "up" <br />talkative <br />sharp-witted <br />and moderately energetic <br />that it looks like <br />feels like <br />she just might be improving <br />like The Intruder could possibly <br />be having a change of heart <br />packing its shit— <br />not things <br />items <br />or stuff <br />it's definitely shit— <br />and making its way <br />outta her body <br />so much so <br />that I start to get <br />sorta-kinda hyped <br />and I find myself <br />eyeballing her <br />in emoji fashion <br />real hard <br />and long <br />like the string I send her <br />via text <br />👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 <br />cuz I believe in miracles <br />I've seen too many <br />had too many of my own <br />to NOT believe <br />so hey <br />who am I to doubt <br />that Mom could have one? <div>
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But then <br />before my hype <br />can set up shop <br />in my bones <br />The Intruder <br />flings its shit <br />in my face <br />spits in <br />my real-life eyeballs <br />letting me know <br />this shit ain't no joke <br />it ain't packed <br />a damn thang <br />but a one-two punch <br />to my sinking-feeling gut <br />as I watch it <br />snatch her from miracle <br />to misery <br />in the blink <br />of my teary 👀 <br />then I feel betrayed <br />foolish <br />miracle? <br /><br />pshhh— <br />never mind <br /><br /> </div>
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Hustle Divahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17531512896819202720noreply@blogger.com0