BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF FEAR

I once worked for a company for a very short time, less than a month. It was a job that, in the beginning, I thought would be right for me. I acquired it effortlessly, enjoyed the interview process and initial training, found the company to be very professional, the pay acceptable, and I loved my extremely flexible schedule. Everything seemed like a perfect fit … until I actually started the job and began feeling intense unease.

At first, I thought it was just me. I was new, still learning the system, and getting comfortable with everything. I decided to give myself some time to adjust. But days and days went by, and as I rapidly figured out the system, I noticed my spirit was still out of whack. At that point, it was clear to me that there was a real problem I needed to have a talk with myself about.

I discovered that the system, though it did actually work, wasn’t working for me, and for very valid reasons, not because I was being lazy or trying to shirk my responsibilities. I’m no stranger to working diligently. I identified my issues and spent a considerable amount of time contemplating their weight, and they were heavy. It was challenging to get my work done in a timely manner every day. I never turned it in late, but it wasn’t done without unusually long hours and lots of spiritual drain.

After two weeks and many failed you-can-do-this pep talks with myself, I knew I would need to leave. If there was one thing I knew for sure, it was that I had come much too far in my endeavors to go backward. I had previously experienced what it was like to be doing work that was truly satisfying, and staying in a situation that offered me the exact opposite was not on my agenda. 

The most difficult thing about letting go of a situation (or thing or person) that’s no longer serving you in general, or is just plain unhealthy, is things can get “complicated.” I put that in quotes because when you master the art of letting go immediately, it’s not complicated. But when you’re operating from and controlled by fear, things change. It will make you remain in situations or keep people and things in your life that you know full well are not in your best interest, or that you’re not even really interested in. In my case, the core fear was that I would let the job go and then have no income for X amount of time, and I had just gotten back into the realm of having something steady to count on. Things were even set up so I could work part time if and when I desired. I knew what I really wanted to be doing work wise, but the fear that it wouldn’t manifest, either at all or quickly enough, had me considering “hanging out” at this job that I wasn’t the least bit enthusiastic about, just to have some steady income. Basically, I would be implementing the “break glass in case of emergency” tactic—using the job as backup if things got rough financially. I knew from past experience that would impede my advancement, so, despite my fears, I thanked the company for the opportunity and their hospitality, graciously resigned, and got back to focusing on and magnetizing what was in my heart.

Whether you’re hanging on to a job, a relationship, or some other situation that isn’t bringing you joy and satisfaction, which is your natural birthright, the bottom line is this: not only can you not attract anything better until you identify what better is for you, but you also can’t get it until you clear the path for its arrival. That last part is crucial, and I’ll touch on that in a minute, but first things first.

If you don’t know what you want, then you’ll need to start there. Make good use of the situations you don’t like by constructing your desired scenarios from them. Pay close attention to how you feel within those situations. If you’re miserable, don’t complain; pinpoint exactly why you feel that way and then decide what you’d rather have or be doing instead. Write it down in as much detail as you can. Your prayer (decision) has to be defined if you want precise results. If you put out a vague prayer or one that’s too broad, you’ll get hodgepodge in return.

Once you’re sure about your goal, it’s time to make room for it on your plate, which means eliminating the things (or people) in your realm that you’re afraid to release because you’re worried about being deprived of something in their absence. They’re literally blocking your goal’s entrance. Every time you cling to things out of fear, you’re really saying you don’t have faith that you can or will get what you really want; so you’ll settle “just in case” it’s the best, or all, you’ll ever have. You want a healthy meal, so to speak, but your plate is cluttered with junk food that you keep snacking on out of desperation, and it’s making you sick (unhappy). How can you expect to invite in what’s healthy when your energy and actions are wrapped up in your substandard scenario? Enforcing opposite energies will keep you at a standstill in life. You may want better, but unless you act like it, you won’t get it. Simply wanting something doesn’t pull it in. Many times, you’ll have to do things that are unfamiliar, uncomfortable, and scary to be positioned to accomplish your goals. Unless you’re willing to step out on faith and put yourself in that position, don’t expect to move beyond your current circumstances.

I should also mention that when others have a vested interest in a scenario that you’re afraid to release, you’re not only holding up your own progress, you’re also holding up theirs. If you’re involved in an undesirable situation, and the people who are also involved think you’re completely on board, you’re doing everyone an injustice by not moving on. You can’t give or be your best in situations that don’t contribute to your happiness, and by removing yourself from that space, you make room for someone who wants to be there and who’s a better fit. This life is not all about you. Your decisions affect others. The great thing is, being true to yourself allows you to help others because it means you’re staying in your own lane, not taking up space, time, and expending precious energy in circumstances where you’re ultimately doing you and the others in it more harm than good.

What does your lane entail? Figure it out. Be confident about it, whether others approve of it or not. And by all means, don’t be afraid to get in it and stay there.      

 From my book Building Faith and Character Through Life Challenges, available at www.hustledivaspeaks.com/pages/purchase.aspx