Have you noticed how often you tell people what you don't have, and
what you can’t and won't be able to do? It's a very bad habit that only
perpetuates the situation you're in. Our words are the most powerful
weapons we have, and when we don't use them in the positive sense, we
create negative scenarios. The next time you get ready to tell someone
that you don't have, can't do, or won't be able to do something (that
you actually do want), try to catch yourself before the words come out,
and instantly switch to one of these two substitute phrases: "I'm in the
process of [getting it]" or "I'm pursuing [it]." Or add in any other
positive phrase that you can think of that leans toward your possession
of or ability to do something you truly want. Whatever you do, don’t claim that it doesn’t exist.
Repeatedly
claiming your lack of something doesn’t indicate your advancement in
that area; it denotes indefinite stagnation. It also alludes to your
having a victim mentality. When you say “I don’t have,” not only is
there no indication of forward motion, but it also sounds like you’ve
resigned yourself to the fact that there’s nothing you can do about it.
But when you claim something as being in the process, it sounds like
it’s really in motion; it could happen at any moment. Isn’t that what
you want, anyway? Don’t you want what you want as soon as possible? If
so, then you have to start speaking about your goals and dreams as if
they really are in the process of coming to fruition any second, even if
you can’t see a single shred of evidence that they are. What you can
see with your eyes is not the point; it’s what you want in your heart
that’s important. You’ve been around long enough to know by now that
when a blessing finally appears, you almost never see it coming, and
even if you do, it usually happens in a way that you don’t expect.
That’s because you couldn’t see the whole [spiritual] picture. All you
could see was what your physical eyes could take in, which most of the
time isn’t reliable information because your perception is often clouded
by other people’s opinions, suggestions, and demands, and by your own
unhealthy belief system. But most importantly, it’s literally impossible
for you to see every aspect of how your good is developing. There are
too many people and situations involved that aren’t within your scope of
vision.
“But isn’t claiming something that hasn’t
happened yet the same as lying about it?” you might ask. No, because
your objective behind the claiming is completely different than if you
were having a conversation with someone and blatantly lied to them with
the intention of deceit. This claiming is strictly about faith. Faith
that your good is on its way to you, expeditiously at that, even though
you don’t have the [full] details about how and when it will manifest.
Speaking your ideal life into existence is your right, and dare I say
your duty, and there are ways to do it diplomatically. I say, “Hey,
we’re all going to the movies and then out to dinner. Wanna come?” You
say, “I’m in the process of getting extra funds for splurging. Maybe
next time. Thanks, though.” Yeah, I know. That was a little more work
than just saying, “I can’t; I don’t have the money.” But do you see the
strength behind the former statement and the weakness behind the latter?
The former says that you have something definite in motion; the money’s
on the way, albeit sight unseen by you. The latter just says you’re an
out-of-luck, no-money-having victim of your circumstances; and
unfortunately for you, nothing’s on the way. If you can remember that
everything you think, do, and say has either positive or negative energy
behind it, and that whatever energy you release into the universe you
get back in the form of positive or negative experiences, then you can
see how important it is to start rewiring your brain, and subsequently
your mouth, so that every word you speak, particularly about the things
that matter to you the most, is not only positive but also driven in the
direction you want your life to go.
Rewiring takes
conscious effort. I won't lie: I've caught myself slipping during my
course of action. It takes practice and patience. You’ll have to really
think about how to nix those negative thoughts and words at a moment's
notice. You may have to repeat the same replacement phrase to yourself
consistently during panic moments, which is when the lacktalk is
bubbling over in your mind, out of control. That’s okay, because you’re
probably not used to thinking and speaking about your life in
forward-moving phrases regularly. You’ve been blurting out what you
don’t have and can’t do for so long that you don’t even realize you’re
saying it most of the time, not to mention the damage you’re doing to
your life whenever you do. It’s not your fault that speaking yourself
into incessant lack is second nature. This ghastly habit is rampant, and
you’ve been taught well by everyone around you, including your parents,
who probably meant absolutely no harm. As a child, you may have heard
them say how broke they were, that they couldn’t afford to buy [you]
this or that; it wasn’t in the budget; times were hard. It’s not their
fault, either. They said it because that’s the phrasing they heard and
learned. They couldn’t teach you what they didn’t know, so no blaming
need take place. This is not just about money. It’s about having been
conditioned from youth, by society at large, to speak in the negative
about the existence of the things you want—even need—when you don’t see them in front of you.
I
have lots of examples I can share, even recent ones, but I’ll share
this one from back in the day because even now, I’m still amused by it. I
was working at San Quentin State Prison, in the records department. I
wanted more than anything to work in the mailroom. I was really
determined to move. Problem was, there had been a long-term hiring
freeze in effect, even before I started working at the prison, and the
likelihood of my position change was laughable. No one had been able to
transfer to a different position in an unheard-of amount of time. Yet, I
told my coworker, not long after I began working in records, that
I was gonna do just that. He laughed at me, then told me it was never
gonna happen because of the hiring freeze. I told him to watch me. I was
leaving that department. Frequently, and with a smug smirk on his face, he would ask me if I had “heard anything” about an opening in the
mailroom. I would say no, and then confidently tell him that I was still
gonna work there, that my move was already in progress. When he would
ask me how, I would shrug and say I didn’t know, but that it just … was. He would laugh, shake his head at me, and then walk away while mumbling about how funny I was. Well, ha … ha … ha.
About 14 months later, my supervisor, whom I’d also told about my
interest in moving, came to me and informed me that a position had
opened that I was eligible to apply for. I did, and so did a bunch of
other people. But since I had already claimed that spot, I wasn’t the
least bit surprised when I got it. So I left my coworker in Main Records,
flummoxed and with his mouth hanging open … and no longer laughing at
me.
You have complete control of what runs through your
head and comes out of your mouth. You control the energy of your life
and its impending direction. Why not prioritize making your mind and
mouth the compasses that point your life toward all the victories you
fully intend to achieve?
From my book Building Faith and Character Through Life Challenges
