SUPPORT SYSTEM

I don't drink coffee

but I've been using your favorite mug lately

the one you used for your morning coffee

then several more servings throughout the day

I know it was your favorite

not just because I saw you using it

all the time

but because

I can see the permanent coffee-stain ring

just above the cup's halfway point--

you never filled it all the way

as if maybe you felt like you didn't deserve

a full one

like how you often felt about your life

the way you struggled to feel worthy

of the kind that would

leave you so satiated that there'd be

no room left in that cup

because the contents of your joy 

would aggressively bubble over

splashing on everything

and everyone in your midst

and you would never apologize

because you'd understand that

happiness is to be shared

it's supposed to flood

touch people

leave them inquiring about 

whatever it is you have

that makes your cup

runneth over like that

 

At the bottom

on the inside

I can see the mass of scrape marks

from where you clanked and stirred your spoon

and I question how much deep contemplation

and persistent worry

were driving each rotation of your wrist

how long you sat there

with your limb  

briskly spinning your java on autopilot

always no cream

barely a teaspoon of sugar

so I wonder if what you were really doing

was trying to dissolve

all your tears and fears

On the underside rim

lies the mileage evidence

where it's clear that this mug 

was your cherished companion

your ally during 

life's storms and celebrations

traveled with you to every corner

of 40 Terrace Drive

saw all the sights of your beautiful mind

this friendship between you two

was sacred

this vessel held your joe

and your dreams

firmly in its grasp

until the day you left it

in my care

I love the feel of the handle in my hand

sturdy and thick

like your love, reliability, and support

this mug has a density

my other mugs don't have--

I know because I pulled all of 'em

off the shelf

and did a thorough check--

they're not built like this one

they don't feel as dependable

which I guess makes sense

because in my whole life

I have never been able

to depend on anyone

more than you

 

Even though I don't drink coffee

I'll keep letting your mug

hold my favorite beverages

while we form our own bond

as we trek the dimensions 

of my home

I'll definitely make sure

to fill it to the very top each time

to remind myself

that I'm worthy of a life 

brimming with unapologetic joy

And I won't even flinch

if the contents spill over

Copyright 2022

Charlene E. Green