whatchu know 'bout not knowin'
when everybody else does
whatchu know 'bout how that feel
whatchu know 'bout wakin' up every mornin'
question marks creepin' thru yo' psyche
'boutcho journey
'bout where the support
from people who said they would
ignored you when you asked
when of the next pay
'bout
perseverance for breakfast, lunch, dinner
disappointment for a midnight snack
whatchu know 'bout that bein' the only meal you got sometimes
whatchu know 'bout a dozen cracks in yo' faith
'bout tryna glue 'em up wit' smiles 'n' hope
'bout tears that sneak up on you
when you tryna push thru
tryna hold on to yo' sanity
tryna enjoy the day
make it be the one you can finally write home about
sneak up and snatch the light
right outcho eyes
make it so you cain't see the one
at the end of the tunnel
make yo' soul slip, fall, 'n' shatter
in the river that slides off yo' face
tell me whatchu know
'bout this bag o' fuck-its
that keeps gittin' bigger
growin' heavier by the week
so many that they pokin' holes in it
fallin' out
and into yo' attitude some days
'bout walkin' 'round feelin' like
a tsunami
on a sunny, 90-degree day
like a 10-car pileup
too convoluted to free yo'self from
whatchu think you know
huh?
you don't know like I know
'bout purpose
passion
sacrifice
'bout trustin' destiny
'bout loyalty to yo' spirit
to yo' craft
'bout the repo man
'bout eviction
'bout stand-alone spirit
in the midst of side-eyes
and critical commentary
'bout rememberin' whatchu had
wonderin' if all this
is worth losin' it for
you don't know
you don't know a damn thang
'bout this
you don't know 'bout
the power of purpose
kinda hold it has on you
how it make yo' spirit swoon and sway
every time you think about it
breathe new life into you
whenever you touch it
whenever you bless people with it
how all you wanna do is be up under it
all day
at all costs
like a new lover
gotchu whipped
you are
its bitch
in the most gratifying way
hell yeah you take orders
gladly
jump high as it wants
giggle like a silly, lovesick child
when you do
this purpose
nothin' else matters when you in it
distractions have you salty
cuz the sensation it gives you is the sweetest
greatest joy you ever feel
joy that cain't nobody take from you
this that DNA crack
leave you wit' that healthy high
all-natural drug
you came from the womb wit'
runnin' thru yo' bloodstream
narcotic that give you all yo' act-right
yo' greatest shine
finest temperament
the only drug to cure
what ails you
cain't nothin' but death
keep you from it
ain't no pain
no stress
no obstruction
wicked enough
to derail that train
that train go
regardless
ain't no escapin' this thang
ain't no
walkin' away
cuz you frustrated
cuz the road bumpier
than a 5-mile construction zone
where you think you goin'
where you runnin' to
you think you 'bout ta
dodge heredity
that ain't how this works
you cain't leave
how you leave yo'self
where they do that at
this thang
is home
emotional security
comfort food
extra helpings of dessert
shelter from cerebral storms
even when
it is the storm
even when it's disorder
and spilled milk
oh you can cry—
gone 'head 'n' cry
over that milk
but I betchu clean it
right on up
git right on back
to task
cuz
you here
with this purpose
conjoined
thru all yo' numbered days
to let it serve you
so you can serve it to the world
wit' all the bells 'n' whistles
it lets you create
till all who need it from you
get it
till you get
called home
now
tell me whatchu think you know
'bout this double-edged sword
this purpose
all up in you
thatchu cain't undo
whatchu know
'bout that daily keep-on
'bout the strength it takes
the balls you gotta grow
the spiritual judo you need ta know
to overthrow the devil
on this path every day
so you can deliver these goods
to the people
for the people
for yo'self
to leave yo' mark
convenience these lives
heal these hearts
soothe these minds
and show up
every time
lookin' like
you never
even
broke a sweat
nah
you don't know
you don't know a damn thang
'bout this
©2017 Charlene E. Green
