*For Twitch and all the others.*
So you thought you could dance
Your way out of despair
Dj
Enough music
Into your ears
To drown out your heart's
Hard-core wailing
Pretty-smile enough sparkle
Into your eyes
So when we looked into them
We wouldn't see
That the lights were out
In your soul?
I wanna know
Who dropped the ball first
How many dropped it after
Left you feeling like
This game of life
Was too difficult to play
That your access pass
To happiness was defective
And you weren't worthy
Of one that worked
How many were dropped
To the point that by the time
Somebody picked one up
And came to support you
In winning the game
It no longer mattered
Because you felt like
You were too many points
Behind to succeed?
How many I love yous
And I'm here for yous
Sounded good but
Weren't strong enough
To overpower the game-over buzzer
Blaring in your head
Telling you you'd lost
No overtime on deck
Time to get off the court
Outta the game
Outta people's way
Outta existence?
DID
Anyone actually drop the ball?
Was there really not enough
Love
Cheering
Checking-on
And tips offered
On how you could be a victor?
Or
Did you have the ball
The whole time but
Didn't think there would ever
Be enough air in it
To keep you bouncing back
So you tossed it?
Did you block
And foul folks
Who tried to help
Because deep down
You didn't think you were
Destined for greatness
Didn't think your life
Was important enough
To save?
I'm just asking because
When it was me long ago
When I thought I
Wanted to die
More than once
I realized
I didn't
What I really wanted
Was to have a purpose
Big enough to live for
A thing that made me
Feel like I was needed here
A way to leave the world better
A thing no one could
Take from me
That gave me joy
A thing that belonged
Only to me
Because why be here
If I can't have
Impenetrable fulfillment
On some level
Solid ground to stand on
When everything
And everyone around me
Is falling away
Or apart?
And when I found it
I never again
Thought I wanted to die
In fact
It became the thing
I fought hardest
To live for
So I'm just wondering
What would've made you stay
What was the puzzle piece
Missing from your soul
What was the thing
That would've kept you
In the game
Given you
Impenetrable fulfillment
Made you plant your feet
Firmly in this life
Given you the courage
The audacity
To battle all the
Evils and strife in this world
The thing that would've
Let you live in peace
Carry out a purpose
That made you dance
Dj
And eye-sparkle pretty-smile
Till the game-over buzzer
Blared
And you were good
Because your happiness points
Were in excess
And you knew
You had won?
©2022 Charlene E. Green
