INQUIRING MIND

*For Twitch and all the others.*

So you thought you could dance

Your way out of despair

Dj

Enough music

Into your ears

To drown out your heart's

Hard-core wailing

Pretty-smile enough sparkle

Into your eyes

So when we looked into them 

We wouldn't see

That the lights were out

In your soul?

I wanna know 

Who dropped the ball first

How many dropped it after

Left you feeling like

This game of life

Was too difficult to play

That your access pass

To happiness was defective

And you weren't worthy

Of one that worked

How many were dropped

To the point that by the time

Somebody picked one up

And came to support you

In winning the game

It no longer mattered

Because you felt like

You were too many points 

Behind to succeed?

How many I love yous

And I'm here for yous

Sounded good but

Weren't strong enough

To overpower the game-over buzzer

Blaring in your head

Telling you you'd lost

No overtime on deck

Time to get off the court

Outta the game

Outta people's way

Outta existence?

DID

Anyone actually drop the ball?

Was there really not enough

Love

Cheering

Checking-on

And tips offered

On how you could be a victor?

Or

Did you have the ball

The whole time but 

Didn't think there would ever 

Be enough air in it

To keep you bouncing back 

So you tossed it?

Did you block

And foul folks

Who tried to help

Because deep down

You didn't think you were

Destined for greatness

Didn't think your life

Was important enough 

To save?

I'm just asking because

When it was me long ago 

When I thought I

Wanted to die

More than once

I realized

I didn't

What I really wanted

Was to have a purpose

Big enough to live for

A thing that made me

Feel like I was needed here

A way to leave the world better

A thing no one could

Take from me

That gave me joy

A thing that belonged

Only to me

Because why be here

If I can't have

Impenetrable fulfillment

On some level

Solid ground to stand on

When everything

And everyone around me

Is falling away

Or apart?

And when I found it

I never again

Thought I wanted to die

In fact

It became the thing

I fought hardest

To live for

So I'm just wondering

What would've made you stay

What was the puzzle piece

Missing from your soul

What was the thing

That would've kept you

In the game

Given you

Impenetrable fulfillment 

Made you plant your feet

Firmly in this life

Given you the courage

The audacity

To battle all the

Evils and strife in this world

The thing that would've

Let you live in peace

Carry out a purpose

That made you dance

Dj

And eye-sparkle pretty-smile

Till the game-over buzzer

Blared

And you were good

Because your happiness points

Were in excess

And you knew

You had won? 

©2022 Charlene E. Green