AFRAID OF THE DARK

After you're gone...
after The Intruder
cleans its plate
puts its utensils down
sighs with satisfaction
and takes you from me...
what will I do
in this house
alone
once all the people
who have come to
help me
cry with me
cradle me in their arms
tell me I'm gonna be fine
tell me they're here for me
tell me they understand
encourage me to eat
urge me to get some sleep
push me to take care of myself
advise me about
how to go on without you...

have left?

cuz they have lives
families
jobs
other important things
they have to do
that they've put off
long enough
to be here
"emo-sitting" me

what then?

there will come a time
when I'll have to face
the silence
the empty
the fact that when I
"darken up" the house at night
it'll just be
me
and your vacant room
your purse
shoes
clothes
toiletries
computer
bills
all your things
but no you

what will I do
how will I comfort myself
that first night
after they've all gone
and you're gone too
and I'm here
by myself
wind whistling outside
neighbors next door
across the street
raccoons and coyotes
running amok
in the roads
like it's a regular night
like I'm not over here
WTFing
staring at walls
peering around in confusion
screeching at the moon
trying to convince myself
I'm gonna sleep soundly
or at all...

I said
what will I do?

why aren't you answering me, Mommy?

I need answers
I need the cheat sheet
for this fucked-up test
I'm gonna hafta take
at some point
when you leave me
here
in a house only you
have called home
and I am tasked
with residing here
till I'm done
closing you out
with piecing together
this terrifying lesson
that Life has handed me
for which I have
absolutely
no
plan