Saturday, May 23, 2020


My favorite emoji
is the eyeballs 👀👀
they crack me the hell up
I use them for mostly funny
and light moments
in social media posts
or to taunt friends and fam
when I'm waiting for a response
to a question I've asked
a task I've doled out
information I'm looking for
or when I'm just checking on them

Mom gets the biggest kick out of 'em
always says she laughs
when I text her
a string of eyeballs
and nothing else

But now that
I'm in her house
with her
and The Intruder
I no longer text eyeballs...
I have my real eyes on her
all day long

there are these moments
when she's so "up"
and moderately energetic
that it looks like
feels like
she just might be improving
like The Intruder could possibly
be having a change of heart
packing its shit—
not things
or stuff
it's definitely shit—
and making its way
outta her body
so much so
that I start to get
sorta-kinda hyped
and I find myself
eyeballing her
in emoji fashion
real hard
and long
like the string I send her
via text
cuz I believe in miracles
I've seen too many
had too many of my own
to NOT believe
so hey
who am I to doubt
that Mom could have one? 

But then
before my hype
can set up shop
in my bones
The Intruder
flings its shit
in my face
spits in
my real-life eyeballs
letting me know
this shit ain't no joke
it ain't packed
a damn thang
but a one-two punch
to my sinking-feeling gut
as I watch it
snatch her from miracle
to misery
in the blink
of my teary 👀
then I feel betrayed

never mind

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