Sunday, May 24, 2020


I remember when I was a kid
how hard I wished
I could tell you
as many times as you
said it to me
and smooth
get away with it

I mean...really
what kid celebrates that word

(I tried it
you know I tried it
we ALL tried it
as kids...
and I don't know
about y'all
but ummmm...
all of my
ended with me
gettin' jammed up
and with my mama
there were levels
to the jam-up—
all depending
on what kinda
I was bold enough
to throw in her face 

I started working at 14
cuz of that word
cuz it seemed like
there was some kinda
trailing behind
so many of my requests
so many "unreasonable" excuses
for them
so many "Cuz I said so's"
after my pissy whys)

I could not WAIT
till the day
I could tell you
and not get jammed up

I didn't know
how long it would take
how old I'd hafta be
or what situation
we'd hafta be in
for my
(cuz you know I wasn't gon' stop at just one)
to go over
without a jam-up
but lemme tell you
I was watchin' the proverbial clock

These days
this month
this year
I have told you
it seems like
789 times
and I have not
enjoyed any of them

There are so many things
you wanna do
that you can't
things you don't wanna do
that you need to
things you want me to do
that I'm not allowed
things you wanna eat
that will make you sick(er)
things you never wanna do again
that the doctors say
you gotta do
for the duration
and here I am
NO-ing you
till you evil-eye me
till your feelings are hurt
till your defiance rises
till you're frustrated to tears
till you're mad as hell
till you're reminded of
how many limitations you have
cuz of how ill
you really are

I wanna be able to say
to all your requests and demands
but I can't
I gotta do
what's best for you
even though I know
you wanna jam me up

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