JUST ONE QUESTION

I can hear you
snoring lightly
on the baby monitor
my eyes squinted
ear two inches from the speaker
making sure it's really you
and not the boisterous wind
from the open windows

no
it's you

but

though I sigh in relief
I know that when the snoring
and breathing
stop
and the grizzly bear
living in your body
has ended its feast
finished
gnawing you
right in front of my eyes
and your spirit floats
through every air vent
this house
your house
will become a ghost town
whose walls will surely crumble
at your absence

you've held them up
for nearly 25 years
like you've held me up
for 50
and they
like me
will wail
and tantrum
and probably maim themselves
while choking violently
on terror
then drowning
in the deep end
of their ocean of tears
behind the reality of
life without your face
your hands
your laugh
your smile
your humor
your body
among them
your loving touch
your quirky ways
your protective arms

who

who in the hell
will love these walls
and me
and me
and me
AND ME

WHO IN THE HELL
WILL LOVE ME
like you have?