Emotional Turmoil, Part One: Self-Preservation

Don’t let us motivational speakers fool you, not for one minute. We’re not superheroes; we’re human. That being said, you should know that we actually do have challenges in our lives. Everything is not smooth every day. Occurrences are happening all the time, some of them very uncomfortable; but we have a job to do, and that is to encourage all of you. A good portion of the time, that encouragement takes place in person, sometimes on the phone. And while it is not our job to put on airs and pretend to be perfect, what’s important is that when we are in front of you, you don’t see our world falling apart, so to speak. Job = professionalism (at least it should), and having a meltdown on stage, in the middle of a workshop or in-person encouragement session, or over the phone, does not qualify as professional. Yes, a good and honest motivational speaker should be using his or her own personal examples of how he or she overcame XYZ obstacles; without personal stories and victories, people would be less than inclined to take our advice. But freaking out in front of people we’re supposed to be encouraging, when an occurrence is fresh and in motion, is generally the last thing we want to have happen. There have been several times that I was on the mic, pre- or mid-meltdown, and pulled out every bit of my professionalism to get my job done without incident, and then was relieved to be able to let my guard down in the car on the way home.

My motivational-speaking subject is self-love and self-reflection. I’m a constant work in progress, checking myself daily, whether I want to or not, trying to make sure that I’m treating myself right and putting my situations in the proper perspective. It’s not easy all the time. In fact, sometimes I find myself wanting to send myself to my own room because I’ve fallen off the self-love/reflection meter a bit. But then I remember that I’m human, and it’s okay, as long as I make sure to pick myself up, dust myself off really well, and get back on the meter—as high as possible—as soon as I can. More importantly, I remember that in order for me to be an effective motivator, I have to work through my own occurrences successfully so that I can be ready to encourage people who are in the same situation. Part of being a well-rounded speaker in your realm is to have an array of experiences with which to use as encouragement fodder. The subject of self-love is probably the biggest and most important subject there is, because contrary to popular belief, you can’t really lead a successful life without it.

Last night, I found myself dealing with a recurrent occurrence, and in my moment of oversensitivity, I allowed it to break me down. I mean way down…swimming-in-tears down. Now, I’m no crybaby, but I am a firm believer in a good cry every now and then; for me, it helps alleviate a certain amount of stress. And I have them sometimes. But boy, when I do, they are very serious, probably because I don’t do it that often. I’ve gotten pretty good at “sucking it up” during times when I know I just really need to calm down and refocus my energies. Then, there are the times when my system overloads; I’ve sucked up one too many frustrating, hurtful, or disappointing moments, and the dam bursts heavily. And I let it flow. At that point, I know there’s no need in trying to run from what’s happening. The important thing is what I do after it’s over. This is where the self-love comes in, and where the fodder enters the picture.

I know from countless firsthand experiences that wallowing is the absolute worst move you can make after a breakdown. It does nothing but crush all your self-esteem and exacerbate any feelings of hopelessness you may already have. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve allowed myself to “lie down and die,” thinking that if I could just go to sleep for a while, I could get away from the pain, maybe dream up a great solution in the process of my wallow-nap. No such luck. I would wake up just as depressed or even more, realizing that the problem had not packed up and bounced while I snored and drooled for 3 or 4 hours. Not only was the problem still there, but I also I felt crappy about myself on a really deep level for some reason, every single time. I was never sure what that was about, but I soon learned.

Many years ago, in one of the countless self-help books that I’ve read (I apologize that I can’t name it right now), I came across the idea that instead of allowing ourselves to curl up in a ball and wither away at the hands of our problems, the first thing we should do is show ourselves some kind of love. The moments right after a breakdown are so crucial. They’re the precursor for either our overall victory or failure in the situation. Once the tears and tantrum end, it’s what we do next that will make or break us. I can tell you that as an ex-first-class wallower, that will break you. Going to sleep, getting drunk or high, going out and beating someone up to “let off some steam,” or doing anything other than turning your attention to yourself in a loving, caring way, will always lead you to a shoddier place emotionally. The reason is that you have completely abandoned yourself at your worst time. Going to sleep right after a breakdown may not seem like a bad idea, and it’s actually not bad. I mean, sleep is necessary, and it’s not destructive like the other options, right? No, but what it is, is an easy way to avoid looking at your life and dealing with your pain; and in times of crisis, that is the first thing we should do if we want to bring the issue to a close as soon as possible: deal with it—no drugs, alcohol, violence, or convenient escape mechanisms.

You know how when a friend calls you up in a panic and wants you to help them with a problem? You usually do it without hesitation, because you care about that person. You take time out to focus on their issue, show them that you care, dig in and come up with some encouraging words, find a [hopefully healthy] way to make them feel better, if you can. That’s the same thing we should be doing with ourselves in our own time of need. You don’t skip out on your friends when they’re down, so why would you do that to yourself? In times of emotional turmoil, the best counteraction is to find a way to do something loving for yourself, to take care of your life. Typically, after a meltdown, the first thing we forego is our “normal routine.” For example, maybe the dishes won’t get done; the laundry won’t get folded; your teeth may not get brushed and flossed that night; you may skip your exercise routine; if you’re in school, you might not get that homework done; maybe you’ll postpone that prayer session you had planned; or you had cooking a healthy 3-course meal on your agenda, but now you’ll just opt for some greasy fast food. Whatever it is that we normally do when we’re okay, those things are usually the first to go by the wayside when we’re distraught. It’s just too much. We’re too broken down. We’ll do it later, after we ruminate for 18 more hours on the issue at hand. The reality is, it’s how you care for yourself in moments of crisis that show how deep your love for yourself really is. After a breakdown is precisely the time to put extra focus on taking care of your life, even in the smallest way. I don’t care if you just go take out the trash, clip your fingernails, dust the shelves, or go walk around the block once; do any healthy thing that you know will make you feel better or feel good about yourself, even relax you. Any move you can make towards showing yourself that you care about yourself, and even your immediate surroundings, is a great start. You may not think it’s worth much at the time, but I can’t stress enough how showing yourself love and care when you feel bad will boost your self-esteem, and, dare I say, allow you to feel a glimmer of hope about getting through your situation. I can’t begin to explain how it works; it just does. Being your own friend and motivator first, changes things; it gives you incredible strength and resilience. It says, “I love myself enough to not let myself sink into the abyss of hell.” It helps preserve your sanity.

After my hissy fit, of course, I wanted to crawl under my bed and stay there for a week. But I knew better. Since it was nighttime, and there were things I needed to take care of before bed, I knew that those needed to be my first love-myself moves. After calming down and drying my eyes, I sat for a bit, tooling around on the Internet. I was still hurting, which is normal, but I wasn’t about to let myself fall off the meter. So, I got up, went and washed my face and brushed my teeth; then, once that was done and I started feeling better about myself, I got busy washing my dinner dishes in the sink, straightening up my couch area in the living room, and tidying up in the bedroom. These things are not major…when all is right in my world. When all is not, I want no part of the routine. I just wanna scrap everything and mope. But once again, by pushing myself to tend to my well-being, I saw the amazing results of caring for myself when it was hardest to do. My spirits rose; I began to have hope that the situation would get better soon (while in tantrum mode, I had pretty much lost all hope); and the best thing that happened was that I got the idea for this blog post, which instantly excited me because all that hoopla did was lead me right back to doing what I love: writing and motivating. Fodder. Boom. Case closed.

So here I am, at 4:23 a.m., eyes puffy and tired, but happily doing my job. Does my issue still exist? Yep. Do I wanna lie down and die over it? Nope. So guess what, people? I WIN. I loved myself through yet another trying moment, and that’s what it’s all about. Remember: wallowing is reactive; self-care is proactive.

Now…I can go to sleep.

From my book Building Faith and Character Through Life Challenges. For more info and to order, click here.

For information about my life-consulting services, please visit www.honorthespirit.com 

Some Hair-Raising Words

Yesterday, I had a great conversation with a girlfriend. We discussed self-esteem on a multitude of levels, and one of the topics that came up was sisters rocking short hair-dos, and how much self-esteem that actually takes. Later, I remembered some material that I had written on the subject years ago that had been collecting dust in my notebooks, and thought they would be perfect to use here today. One is an article that I wrote about my own experience with first cutting my hair short, and then finally going natural. The second piece is an excerpt from what was supposed to be a short guide I was gonna write about the process of going natural. But, me being me, I started it, then got hung up on writing projects that were clearly more of a priority for me; but I knew one day I'd get back to it. I always do. So, what I've done is a part one, part two, with both pieces of writing, since they're each pretty short. I hope women and men are able to garner something positive from this. I'd love to hear your comments/thoughts and ideas. This first selection, which I have tweaked slightly today, was written in 2003; the second was written maybe a couple of years later.

PART ONE—HAIRitage: Killing My Dependency ... Naturally

I remember when my chemical dependency first began. It was 1985. A mandatory high school aquatics class changed my life; and in a flash I went from a wash, press, and curl to a [chemical] relaxer. [Had I not done so, dealing with my wet hair in its natural state, in the short span of time between classes, would have made it impossible for me to get to my next class on time.] In the end, what started out being a temporary solution to a short-term problem became a full-fledged addiction. It was such a treat being able to comb through my hair without yelping out in pain when it was wet. No more hot combs, sitting in a sauna-like kitchen getting my ears, neck, forehead, and temples scorched just to combat my "naps." Gone were the days of a little mist in the air killing off my precious hairstyle. And boy, was it great being able to run my fingers through my hair! Needless to say, I continued getting my hair relaxed long after aquatics ended. The perks were great, and I felt free and liberated.

Fast-forward roughly fourteen years. After experimenting with a plethora of hairstyles, and making more trips to the salon than I will ever be able to count, I began to grow weary of the whole "relaxing" scene. While having straight hair did have its pros, there were some definite cons to take into consideration: spending a large chunk of money every two months on new-growth touch-ups; not being allowed to scratch my head for at least twenty-four hours prior to an appointment [scratching opens the pores and sometimes causes small lesions, which gives way to excessive burning when the chemicals are applied]; the hours of manual labor I had to put in to keep my hair looking good between appointments; painful chemical burns on my scalp, whether I scratched or not, which turned into hideous scabs plastered to my head, with small chunks of my hair matted together underneath them. But most of all, I was fed up with relying on a skilled beautician to keep my hair intact, and on her schedule, no less. I longed for something better and much healthier for myself, but I knew that whatever I chose to do would require an immense amount of confidence on my part.

November 4, 1999, the day I finally broke free from the shackles of the salon. After six months of heavy deliberation and an abundance of research, I made the great leap from long and straight to short, curly, and texturized. Although there were still chemicals involved (this process merely opens up your natural curl pattern and gives the hair a softer feel), they were lighter and considered safer than a relaxer; the solution is left in for less than ten minutes. A whole new world opened up for me. This was a simple, low-maintenance hairstyle that I could finally manage myself. I even learned how to cut it with a pair of electric clippers and a guard, which magnified my feeling of accomplishment. I felt I had struck gold in the world of hairdos.

About three years into my new-found freedom, a growing curiosity overtook me. I started wondering what my hair would look like without the texturizer. Even though I loved my hair, I had once again reached a point where I felt enslaved by chemicals. I began to question just how free and liberated I really was. I was seeing sisters wearing their hair natural, from Afro puffs, to locks, waves, and twists (short and long). These women were confident in their beauty and proud of their heritage; they were not caught up in the "straight-is-great" hype, or the need to alter their hair with harmful chemicals. I envied their true freedom, and I questioned: could I ever be bold enough to embrace my own natural beauty?

It took me nearly a year of preparation and soul searching, but I'm happy to say that June 22, 2003 was the day I escaped from the world of chemicals (and also cut my hair even shorter than before, down to less than half an inch). Each day, I have grown more and more fond of my natural curls, and now I am truly free!

For my sisters who are still keeping those appointments at the shop, getting "fried, dyed, and laid to the side," or even weaved, I hope to see you all one day sporting the natural look of your choice, and basking in the wonder of your hair's unique beauty, and above all, your own!

PART TWO—Going Natural ... Comfortably (Excerpt)

I cannot tell you how many sisters I've encountered who have expressed their frustration with their hair. They want to break free of the shackles of chemicals and weaves, but they either don't know what else to do with their hair, or they're afraid to do what they really want: go natural. They see my hair, compliment me on it, and then tell me they wish they could "do that." I confidently assure them that they definitely can; I even give them my famous girl-go-'head-and-cut-your-hair pep talk. And then, they give me a laundry list of reasons why they really can't.

Let's face it: we're vastly different. I'm speaking only of my African sisters right now, to make my point. With our myriad genetic backgrounds, it goes without saying that our hair also comes in a multitude of textures, thickness, and lengths. I will admit that prior to cutting my hair, and then getting comfortable with it in its natural state, I spent a considerable amount of time eyeing other sisters' hair, wishing I had some of what they had. Be it their soft, silky texture, their endless length, or their bouncin'-and-behavin' curls, it seemed as if every sister out there had something better than I did. For years, I compared my hair to that of countless women, and what I finally discovered is that it's not worth it, nor is it healthy. Period.

For those of you out there who indulge in the world of chemicals, weaves, or even still undergo the dreaded hot comb, but long to make the drastic switch to the natural look, you must understand that it is a decision that should not be made without a considerable amount of thought, first. The reason I say that is, it's no secret that a woman's hair is her staple. When we aren't comfortable with the way our hair looks, it can greatly affect our mood, and many times the way we feel about ourselves that day. That said, I urge you to make sure you're really ready for the change when you do it. It can be a huge shock emotionally; and if, for some reason, you (or even your friends and loved ones, especially your man) don't like the outcome, you're liable to plummet deep into the throes of depression. Trust me, I've seen it happen. If you're one who feels that you only look good with, say, bone-straight hair, I would suggest a course in what I call Self-Esteem 101, taught by, none other than, yourself. Losing the straight look (or whatever look you rock that's not natural), means you're comfortable with who you are and your overall appearance. It means that you're proud of your heritage and can embrace it without feeling like less of a woman just because your hair doesn't cascade down the middle of your back, light as a feather, and blow in the wind. If you're having trouble getting in touch with the part of yourself that knows you're beautiful just the way you are, you're not alone. For many, it takes time and self-nurturing. Sometimes, it's an ongoing process.

You see, it's not your fault that you may think your natural hair is unattractive, so don't beat yourself up for not having the guts to just go for it when considering that short crop, or even those sisterlocks or dreads. [European] society at large has led us to believe that our hair needs help or fixing. Just look at all the hair-product commercials on TV. 99 percent of them feature a long-haired Caucasian woman who ensures us that "she's worth it." In the few that do showcase a sister, they have her swinging long, straight hair across the screen. Pay close attention to the ads in top African-American-based magazines. Nearly half of the ads are for some type of chemical product used to transform our hair from unruly to manageable. I've heard a lot of stories from men and women about how they haven't gotten certain jobs because they were asked to change their Afrocentric hair, and they refused. Then, there are the dreaded music videos. In the majority of them where sisters are involved, they have long, flowing hair. If, by chance, a sister with short hair is given a part, hers is usually bone straight with not a hair out of place. I've only witnessed a few artists who are clearly pro-heritage, so to speak, who have sisters with natural dos in their videos. This saddens me. And finally, we have our men. Many, many brothers I've talked to have made it clear that they prefer women with long hair, straight or not; some don't even care if they're wearing a weave, so long as it's, well, long. I've heard everything from "It just looks better" to "It feels good to the touch" to "Women with long hair are just prettier and sexier" to "I like my woman to have long hair so I can run my fingers through it and pull it during sex" (yep, that one too!) to "Women shouldn't have short hair like men" to "Natural hair on a woman isn't feminine enough." All of that just makes my stomach turn. Seriously.

What are your memories as a child of someone telling you that your natural hair was beautiful? Maybe some of you have those fond memories, but sadly, many of us don't. What I do remember is many tearful mornings where my mother struggled to comb through my hair in order to get it into ponytails. I remember dreading getting my hair washed because I knew the aftermath would be unbearable. Back then, products like leave-in conditioner didn't exist. There was no great way to soften the hair before attempting to comb through the shriveled and tangled locks. The frustration both my mother and I would feel while she tried to manage my wet hair was indescribable. With moments such as these, and with no one to reassure us that our hair really was beautiful the way it was, it's no wonder that, over time, we came to resent our hair, and developed the overwhelming desire to turn our backs on what is actually a gorgeous and unrivaled treasure.

*To be continued...

A little footnote: I am in no way suggesting that every sister should go natural. Natural may not be for everyone. My views on the subject are just that: mine. I respect everyone else's as well.

VICIOUS feat. Impacc & MsTmusze

VICARIOUSLY SPEAKING: ALL YOU NEED TO GET BY

                                 GOT POEMS?

This collection is easily Charlene E. Green's best yet. It has been labeled "self-help poetry," and for good reason. With her signature poems "Self-Construction," "Revelationary Tears," and "Damaged Goods" gracing the pages, it's easy to see why, after absorbing this potent content, you'd feel you just had therapy. But there is also fun to be had among the hard-core food for thought. So go on ... immerse yourself. Treat yourself. Today.

                                                     
                                         $10.00
               TREAT YOURSELF HERE

For more information about my work and other purchasing options, please visit www.hustledivaspeaks.com

NaPoWriMo 30/30 - Double Tanka

PERSONAL VICTORY

Don't let the fact that
you failed to win the prize make
you feel like you lost;
if you did your best, you won
in the most important way.

Prizes should not be
used to measure your self-worth;
it should already
be intact so no matter
what, you feel like a victor.

NaPoWriMo 29/30 Haiku

CHOCOLATE CITY

Rainbow of brown hues
each one lush and unique in
the African race

NaPoWriMo 28/30 Haiku

BRRRRR

Wind damn near blowin'
my freakin' windows in, this
ain't no spring weather!

NaPoWriMo 24/30 - Haiku

DO IT YOURSELF

Parents, your kids aren't
put on this earth to fulfill
your dreams; that's your job

Special NaPoWriMo, 21&22/30 - For Alice

I just found out that one of our beloved poetry-family members, Alice "The Poet" Nicholas, was hospitalized with cardiac spasms. Some of us are writing poems for/to her while she's undergoing observation at Cedars Sinai. These two poems are Tanka, which is similar to the Haiku, except the formatting of the lines' syllables is 5, 7, 5, 7, 7. For more info about Tanka poetry, visit http://www.americantanka.com/about.html

PIECE O' CAKE

Alice is strong, so
this little bump in the road
ain't no thang for her
plus, she got too many friends
prayin' for her to bounce back

CONFIRMATION

I heard some great things
about Alice The Poet
and when I met her
she blessed me with her skills and
I found out they were all true


Get well soon, Alice! We're not done with you yet!

NaPoWriMo 14- 20/30: HAIKU TIME!

All right, it's time for me to work out some Haiku around here. Actually, I have a book that I'm working on called "Haiku You Do That to Me?": A Little Book of Haiku. I started it last year during NaPoWriMo time, and I wrote about 20 of them. I haven't worked on it since then, really, so I'm using this time to add some more to the pot. For those who aren't familiar with what a Haiku poem is, here's some basic info (cut & pasted from a site):

Haiku is a poetic form and a type of poetry from the Japanese culture. Haiku combines form, content, and language in a meaningful, yet compact form. Haiku poets, which you will soon be, write about everyday things. Many themes include nature, feelings, or experiences. Usually they use simple words and grammar. The most common form for Haiku is three short lines. The first line usually contains five (5) syllables, the second line seven (7) syllables, and the third line contains five (5) syllables. Haiku doesn't rhyme. A Haiku must "paint" a mental image in the reader's mind. This is the challenge of Haiku - to put the poem's meaning and imagery in the reader's mind in ONLY 17 syllables over just three (3) lines of poetry!

So, I don't always go for the great imagery; sometimes I go the route of making a good point or saying something witty. The idea is to do whatever you're gonna do (tell a story, make a point, etc.) in the 3 lines, making sure the syllables in your lines are 5, 7, 5. You might think throwing 3 measly lines together to make a poem is easy, but it's kinda not. In order to write a good Haiku, some thought has to go into the message, while staying on point with your line formatting. There are some hard-and-fast Japanese rules for Haiku poems which involve the use of seasons as part of the imagery/message, but a lot of the Haiku you see poets writing may not conform to that. Some people title theirs, some don't; I always do.

QUIET ANTICIPATION

Slumber caresses
my body while I dream of
tomorrow's blessings

PASSIONATE RAYS

Sun's kissin' my lips
warm 'n' soft like a lover
who's cravin' my taste

ONE-STOP SHOP

When searching for his
truth, the first place she checks is
the look in his eyes

PREP COURSE

Determination's
the first step when planning for
all life's victories

SHORT CHANGED

Access to my thoughts
will cost more than a penny
don't insult their worth

SENSE PERCEPTION

The sound of my name
dancing on your tongue is my
ears' favorite song

TIME-SENSITIVE EMOTIONS

He ships her his love
overnight from his heart, marked
return to sender

NAPOWRIMO BACKLOG

So, I'm a couple of days behind in Napowrimo. Hey, I been busy trying to have a career around here! But, I'll try to catch up this week. Gotta get my brain focused on some subject matter, and there is plenty; I just have to think of which topics to tackle, poetry style.

I will say, though, that I'm very happy with the work I've done so far. Friday's poem wasn't my best (and I kind of didn't mean for it to be); it was based on how I was feeling at the moment, and that was all I felt like saying. Of course, just like the poem says, I sucked it up and let the moment pass, and now I'm feeling much better today.

This challenge really is good for the creative juices. It's amazing to see what we poets come up with at the drop of a dime, as opposed to actually waiting for random inspiration. I've talked to several poets who said they weren't gonna get involved in Napowrimo because they didn't like the idea of "forcing" themselves to create because they felt it would take the fun out of writing; yet, at the last minute, they decided to get in on the challenge, and they're not only hangin' tough, but also coming up with great poems in the process. I just think that's fly. Period. The creative process is so fascinating. Even though it can be daunting thinking about trying to write something new every day for 30 days, once you get started, and you watch yourself push through the act, you feel so accomplished when you see your final product. Well, I do. Let me not speak for everyone else.

All right, lemme put on my thinking cap and see what I can put together before midnight. Maybe I can manage to make up for those two lost days, on top of getting today's done. If not, it's okay. I've done a great job so far. It's all in good fun anyway. Once it stops being fun, it's time to reevaluate why it's even being done, as far as I'm concerned.

Blog wit'cha soon!

NaPoWriMo 9/30

SKIN I'M IN

Today my skin wears real thin

This path I've chosen is rough

Feel like throwin' the towel in

But even if I tried to seek solace

In the arms of another path

I'm married to this-here way of life

So that affair would never last

See I've tried to escape it all

Turn my back and jump ship

But I fail each time I do

Cuz it's anchored to my hip

I just want it to sail away sometimes

Find a thicker-skinned girl to harass

But since I know I can't live without it

I suck it up and let the moment pass

These threats of leaving it behind

Are all empty and illigit

No matter how thin my skin today

This writing thing I will never quit

It's National Poetry Month...Let's GET IT!

NaPoWriMo. National Poetry Writing Month. The most challenging, sometimes grueling, 30 days of any poet's life. The time where we all put our brains to work overtime as we push ourselves (lovingly, that is) to make the effort to write one poem a day in April. Yep, that means by the end of it all, if we're not completely insane or haven't dropped out of the challenge by then, we will have at least 30 new poems added to our collections. If writing a poem a day for 30 days doesn't sound like much of a challenge to you, then you either haven't been part of this program, or you have, and you're able to bat out those poems with no problem, and you're just a damn show-off. Fine, then. Just don't throw it in the faces of those who are toiling over a haiku at 11:53 p.m., trying to get it done by midnight so we're not in [moral] violation.

I joined in late last year, around the 8th or 9th of April, and I have to say, it was fun some days, and others I really didn't think I'd be able to make myself produce anything, not even the above-mentioned haiku, which is only three measly lines. But me being me, I don't like to throw garbage together, so even the haikus had to be potent. By the end of the month, I was totally worn out mentally, but I did have some great new material in my poetry pot, several of them becoming performance pieces that I'm very proud of, and that are quite popular. So, you see, it was worth the struggle. And who ever said struggle was supposed to be fun, anyway? What it does is show us what we're made of, and how far we're willing to go to challenge ourselves to win in any situation. When we've done so (won, that is), we look back on the struggle and thank ourselves for taking it on and hanging in there.

Yeah, ummmmm...I'm talkin' a LOTTA smack right now, heehee, but the reality is, I'm a little nervous. It's day one, and I'm already sweating over the first poem, "Damaged Goods." Writing on cue isn't my favorite thing, and I've claimed to not be able to do it, but, actually, I had to do it recently, and I was happy with that poem; plus, I did it last April. So, I guess I should reevaluate my take on that subject, because, clearly, with some will, discipline, and concentration, I can write on cue and have the end result be quite satisfying.

Well, I've got till midnight to finish my poem, so at least that gives me the rest of the day to turn on the old creative faucet and hope it does more than drip; I need a full-blast flow...every day this month.

To those of you poets who are on board, good luck, and have fun! I hope to see and hear some of your new poems as we go along! Mine will be posted right here in my blog, so stay tuned! "Damaged Goods" will be up by midnight!

Performance at Catalyst Community

Thanks to Eric from Catalyst Community for recording my performance on Saturday night (3/13)! I had a blast, and I hope to be back for more mic flow soon! Enjoy the vids!

Impromptu Video Shoot

Last weekend, I was hangin' with some friends at the Catalyst Community, a nonprofit organization out in Long Beach, and I spit my new poem, "Self-Construction," for them. The next thing I knew, I was being shoved (lovingly) into a corner of the kitchen area and told the piece needed to be on video "NOW!" according to author and motivational speaker Lacey C. Clark, who hooked this video up for me. It has become a very important poem in my collection because it talks about the incessant inner-realm work we all have to do on ourselves in order to be our best selves, and how, sometimes, we just don't wanna do it, yet there's no way around it. I hope you enjoy it!